Initiation

None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.

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Ask directly to join social gatherings rather than assuming silence means no.
Others may view the absence of an invitation as a 'maybe' and expect you to ask.
- If told no after asking, do not blame others; respect boundaries.
one person who lived it
Say hello and be friendly rather than casting yourself out.
People like friendly people; those who cast themselves out are disliked.
one person who lived it
Act as the extrovert and persist in initiating even if the other person doesn't show interest immediately.
This keeps you in their mind and may encourage them to speak with you next time.
one person who lived it
Initiate the first move in conversations with new people.
Once a conversation starts, it usually becomes much easier to continue.
one person who lived it
If you struggle to make connections, try initiating conversations yourself.
Repeated interactions can lead to closer friendships.
- This approach does not work for everyone.
one person who lived it

If you notice someone nearby shares a similar interest, try striking up a conversation about it.
It may be easier to talk to people who share the same interests.
one person who lived it
When meeting shy acquaintances, explicitly invite them to text or message you on social media later.
Some people hesitate to initiate contact outside of social settings for fear of appearing odd or needy.
one person who lived it
Introduce yourself to everyone regardless of rank or age to build positive relationships.
Extending a hand and introducing yourself works to become well-liked.
one person who lived it
Use a therapist as a proxy reason to initiate contact with someone, framing it as a casual chat.
Therapists have indicated this is an acceptable strategy.
one person who lived it

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Start small by simply saying 'hi' to passersby or classmates to build social skills gradually.
4 people, independently
Initiate conversations by commenting on specific items people are wearing or carrying, such as t-shirts, water bottles, pictures, or jerseys.
7 people, independently