Interpersonal dynamics

None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.

How this was put together

If you only read a few

  1. Allow your personality and self to evolve as your definition of a better life changes.

    The goal of a better life might keep changing.

    one person who lived it

  2. Accept that your 'social' persona is another part of you, not a compromise of your true self.

    • The more you use this persona, the more dominant it may become, possibly bleeding into your 'true' persona.

    one person who lived it

  3. Maintain empathy, kindness, and consideration for others while ensuring you do not violate your ground rules.

    This allows you to face your conscience and live the life you want, even if you are not popular.

    one person who lived it

  4. Spend conscious time alone to notice how your authentic self differs from the version of you that mirrors others.

    Rebuilding a sense of identity may involve connecting with yourself first rather than with others.

    one person who lived it

  5. Mirror people you admire to reflect the identity you want to build, rather than mimicking others just to fit in.

    Mirroring without admiration is less effective and lacks the identity signal of who you want to be.

    one person who lived it

  1. Encourage opponents to sink money into green properties which have expensive costs and low returns.

    Green properties have expensive costs and low returns.

    one person who lived it

  2. Consider not playing Monopoly at all as the only winning move.

    one person who lived it

  3. Ask yourself whether adjusting your behavior helps you grow or makes you smaller.

    one person who lived it

  4. Recognize that choosing to conform to social norms can be an authentic decision reflecting your self.

    one person who lived it

3 more on this
  1. Recognize that social interaction influences, changes, and shapes your self without compromising it.

    Inauthenticity compromises one's self, not the act of being influenced.

    one person who lived it

  2. Adopt a 'broad frame' mindset that views individual wins and losses as small pieces of overall experience rather than defining narratives.

    one person who lived it

  3. Cultivate a mindset that prioritizes your own self-approval over whether others like you.

    one person who lived it

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