Nonverbal communication
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Maintain good posture to help you breathe more deeply while speaking.
It helps you get heard better.
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Mirror the other person's body language and affect, and occasionally repeat their words in question form.
People feel more at ease, and it can lead to mutual mimicking.
- It risks turning the conversation into an interrogation.
- You may be made fun of for mirroring.
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Look people directly in the eyes while conversing to feel more in control.
It makes you feel surprisingly more in control.
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Work on your internal mindset and heart first to control micro-expressions and subtle body language tells.
You cannot control hundreds of micro-tells through conscious effort alone; only having the right attitude allows you to manage them.
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Move your eyes away from the other person and back, rather than staring them down.
Staring is perceived as aggressive for both animals and humans.
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When someone initiates contact, perform an eyebrow flash followed by a small smile and a wave.
This signals that you are approachable.
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Pay attention to non-verbal cues as they may reveal information about trustworthiness that words conceal.
Verbal language can be used to lie, whereas non-verbal cues are often automatic.
- Non-verbal cues can also be faked.
- Relying solely on instincts can lead to misinterpreting cues.
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Avoid checking your phone for long periods to prevent looking down.
Looking down is forced by prolonged phone checking.
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Strengthen your posture through back exercises, stretching, and consistent yoga.
Having strong core and posture muscles leads to great body language if you are confident and full of energy.
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If feeling stressed, adopt the posture appropriate for the mood you wish to have.
One person reported this works when daytrading.
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Just actually listen rather than performing specific non-verbal cues.
When trying to perform cues, I am not actually listening; when listening, the rest takes care of itself.
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Listen closely to your favorite music to relive the first experience you had with it.
It allows you to almost relive your first experience, which is great.
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Build a foundation of confidence and warm focus on others rather than memorizing lists of specific body language rules.
Developing confidence and enthusiasm causes voice and body language to change naturally to match.
2 people, independently
Hold drinks at waist level rather than close to your chest to avoid shielding yourself from conversation.
Holding a drink close to the chest appears as shielding oneself from the conversation.
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Address discomfort directly by asking the other person what is wrong or what made them uncomfortable.
Asking simply won't worsen the situation.
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Practice confident body language consistently, even if it feels unnatural at first, to help overcome shyness.
It creates a feedback loop that affects how you feel and helps you slowly overcome shyness.
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Stand straighter, make eye contact, and speak louder to improve engagement, rather than relying solely on words.
Closed-off body language like hunched shoulders and quiet speech prevents engagement, while open posture changes how people respond.
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Imagine a cord attached to the crown of your skull pulling you upward toward the roof. This helps keep your head up, spine aligned, and shoulders back.
4 people, independently
Monitor your body language and consciously adjust involuntary habits, like arm-crossing, to ensure they align with your intended message.
First impressions are formed quickly, and body language is a key element of emotional intelligence regarding how others perceive your mood.
- Adjusting posture immediately upon noticing it can feel awkward.
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Imitate characters from movies to practice and improve voice and body language.
It is an effective way to practice alone.
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Before a speech or date, vividly imagine specific details of your confident self, including what you are wearing, how you smell, how you talk, your body language, and how you handle adversity and success.
Making this imagined self vivid and real through repetition may cause you to repeat those actions when the situation arrives.
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Aim to make social skills subconscious rather than actively analyzing physical signs during interaction.
Actively thinking about theoretical approaches is a massive issue that hinders natural interaction.
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Catch yourself making yourself appear smaller and correct it.
- It may feel awkward at first.
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Avoid actively trying to control all natural behaviors, as this can make you look uncomfortable.
Actively trying to avoid natural actions is a bigger problem than the actions themselves.
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Be skeptical of claims that eye movements reliably reveal thoughts, as neurodivergence may invalidate such readings.
Neurodivergence may change eye movement patterns, or the process itself may be wrong.
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Breathe deeply and slowly to improve mood, physical feeling, and subconscious body language.
This habit improves body language, physical feelings, and mood, which subconsciously helps body language further.
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In party situations, appear relaxed and friendly rather than unnervingly polite, to avoid making others uncomfortable with a lack of empathy.
Being overly polite can make other people uncomfortable and seem like missing empathy.
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Listen to audiodescriptions of films to learn how body language is narratively interpreted and explained.
The narrator explains visual information so the visually impaired won't miss out.
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Open your body posture to signal comfort and ease, rather than holding defensive positions.
Having non-barrier body language requires opening yourself up.
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Cultivate a calm, relaxed, or energetic demeanor to improve both your body language and verbal communication.
Working on body language impacts verbal communication.
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