Online etiquette
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Let people have the last word in online arguments without commenting on errors.
One person found this approach freeing.
- Based on one person's experience.
one person who lived it
Block users instead of arguing with them when they are not open to changing their minds.
Arguing is useless because they won't change, wasting time and energy.
- There are some subjects, such as racism and homophobia, that we cannot afford to stay silent on.
- This would very quickly create your own little echo chamber where you can feel safe and un-triggered.
one person who lived it
Type out an angry response and then delete it to get emotional relief without feeding negativity.
Writing things down has a calming effect by getting feelings off your chest and provides catharsis without the annoyance of receiving replies.
- Some feel this wastes time and emotional energy on a troll.
- Compulsive individuals may feel they wasted time if they do not send it.
3 people, independently
Assume commenters you dislike are genuinely stupid, young, or having a bad day.
It fosters gentler conversations, as stupidity responds better to patience than frustration.
- One dissenting view suggests this mindset prevents re-evaluating your own position or conceding you might be wrong.
one person who lived it
Before arguing with someone online, pause and ask if anyone cares to save yourself time.
You will likely never encounter the stranger again, making the argument a waste of time.
one person who lived it
Block users who post destructive negativity on your social media, but distinguish these from constructive criticism.
Negative entities aim to distract you from self-improvement, and a small number of people often cause most drama.
- Do not block constructive comments; only block destructive ones.
one person who lived it
Recognize that skilled trolls mimic genuine opposing viewpoints until they have wasted your time, which constitutes their victory.
Wasting your time to prove there is no substance is the troll's goal.
one person who lived it
Block trolls and ignore them completely.
Ignoring them maintains your peace and frustrates them because they hate being ignored.
one person who lived it
Ignore content creators who profit from inciting discourse.
It makes you happier, dampens their reach, and denies them the engagement they need to profit.
one person who lived it
9 more on this
Focus on protecting your peace over being right in online arguments.
Protecting your peace feels better than winning an argument.
one person who lived it
Recognize that internet arguments have no winner or loser, as there is nothing to gain or lose, only conflicting viewpoints until apathy sets in.
Your time is limited while the other party's time may seem endless, and the concept of losing is irrelevant in these digital exchanges.
one person who lived it
Be aware that without clear indicators of humor, parodies of extreme views may be mistaken for sincere expressions.
This is known as Poe's Law in internet culture.
one person who lived it
Speak up against hate speech to signal support to victims and challenge bystanders, rather than trying to change the hater's mind.
2 people, independently
Check a user's profile and comment history before engaging in controversial arguments to identify trolls.
It prevents wasting energy on people who are not worth the time.
2 people, independently
Do not respond to hate comments or insults online.
Responding often leads to feeling like a fool for investing time in unworthy arguments, arguing with nobody after the other party deletes their comments, or feeding trolls.
one person who lived it
Write one reply addressing the original points for bystanders, then disengage from the troll.
You will never convince the troll, but bystanders see the counterargument.
one person who lived it
Report harassing users in addition to blocking them, as moderators may enforce rules against repeat offenders.
Moderators often enforce rules if a user breaks them too many times.
one person who lived it
Read the full context of a conversation before responding to a critical comment.
Reading the conversation often reveals the comment was not meant to be taken defensively or snarkily.
one person who lived it