Overcoming shyness
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
If called shy, cheerfully say, 'Hey, it's better than being insensitive!'
It might make them think.
- This can be seen as aggressive for someone making an inoffensive observation.
one person who lived it
Force yourself to talk to strangers regularly to overcome shyness.
Conversation with random people helps you get past shyness.
- This approach can lead to overthinking, freezing up, and losing the energy to socialize.
one person who lived it
Bite your tongue slightly when you feel a nervous smile coming on to suppress it.
One person reported this helps a bit.
one person who lived it
Greet people with a simple 'hi' or 'hey how are you?' when you see them.
A simple greeting means a lot to them and helps counteract perceptions of being mean.
one person who lived it
Try new activities slowly and fully commit to them, even if they feel silly.
One person reported feeling a wave of confidence after fully committing to a Zumba class for an hour despite feeling silly.
one person who lived it
Tell people you are shy so they know you do not secretly hate them.
People usually feel more positive towards you, and sharing this vulnerability is a confident step.
one person who lived it
Remind yourself that others are not thinking about you as much as you assume they are.
Awkward interactions often do not register to other people.
one person who lived it
Participate in theater or similar performance activities to come out of your shell.
One person reported that being a theater student helped them come out of their shell a bit more.
one person who lived it
Let go of prejudices and relax to 'be yourself' more often, recognizing that shyness may stem from judging others as much as lacking confidence.
One person found that realizing this allowed confidence to flow naturally.
one person who lived it
2 more on this
Embrace embarrassing social acts early on to realize that others are largely indifferent to your imperfections.
Realizing you are a minor character in others' lives means they do not care about your mistakes.
one person who lived it
Do not visualize a specific positive outcome for social interactions; instead, assume no harm but do not expect a positive result, to avoid damaging confidence if plans fail.
Visualizing a positive outcome can damage confidence more if it doesn't go as planned, and conversations can rarely be planned.
one person who lived it