Personality

None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.

How this was put together

If you only read a few

  1. Challenge the belief that you cannot change your personality.

    The idea that 'this is just who I am' is a false belief.

    one person who lived it

  2. Stretch and groove in the morning to get back into your own body.

    to get back into your own body

    • based on one person's routine

    one person who lived it

  3. Read 'How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk' to gain empathy.

    to gain empathy

    one person who lived it

  4. Express succinct opinions and wit rather than acting as a people-pleaser.

    Others are more drawn to succinct opinions and wit than to those who appear to be yes-men.

    one person who lived it

  5. Enjoy small moments like looking at clouds when feeling overwhelmed.

    It helps one live life to the fullest rather than just taking it less seriously.

    one person who lived it

  1. Find your unique edge in socializing, such as using humor, to stand out.

    It gives you value in conversations.

    one person who lived it

  2. Spring up conversations that you can laugh at.

    it helps

    one person who lived it

  3. Shift from living seriously to living sincerely, paying attention to amazing things.

    Most things are not life-and-death, but amazing things can be missed without sincere attention.

    one person who lived it

  4. Look for something to joke about in any situation, even if it is a bad pun or fails; if someone laughs, you will feel lighter and happier.

    Laughing instantly makes you feel lighter and happier.

    one person who lived it

27 more on this
  1. Learn to say 'No' and politely express your true feelings to gradually change how others perceive you.

    It will slowly change perceptions.

    one person who lived it

  2. Set a timer for 15 minutes each day to do something completely silly, such as watching cat compilations.

    It breaks down walls.

    one person who lived it

  3. Work on becoming a mellow, nice person who puts others before yourself.

    One person reported having a better life after doing this.

    one person who lived it

  4. Watch 'Broad City' to see characters who do not care what others think, which one person found helpful for improv.

    It models a lack of concern for others' opinions.

    one person who lived it

  5. Join communities of people who share your new passions to regain enthusiasm and make friends.

    Meeting people with shared enthusiasm helps rebuild social connections.

    one person who lived it

  6. Be authentic and unapologetic about your likes to connect with people.

    One person found it easier to connect this way.

    one person who lived it

  7. Listen without responding unless asked a question or the other person seems finished; use the silence to think before speaking.

    It allows time to think rather than hastily blurting out a joke.

    one person who lived it

  8. Invite friends to structured activities like pub quizzes or trivia so you have something to do while they chat.

    It provides a shared activity that allows for chit-chat without pressure.

    one person who lived it

  9. Perform at an open mic night to test your humor.

    Bombing may correct overestimation of your funniness, or success may reveal a new vocation.

    one person who lived it

  10. Cultivate three hobbies you are knowledgeable and passionate about to increase your chances of connecting with others.

    People are generally interested in topics you can express enthusiasm for.

    one person who lived it

  11. Talk to random people to realize that awkwardness is the worst possible outcome, which can encourage you to open up more.

    Realizing that the worst case is merely an awkward situation reduces inhibition.

    one person who lived it

  12. Remind yourself that life is ending to question whether things you give weight to are essential.

    one person who lived it

  13. Induce natural laughter by finding moments that click with you, such as watching something funny or goofing around with comfortable people.

    Real, natural laughter comes from these moments rather than forcing it.

    one person who lived it

  14. Practice being less self-conscious by focusing entirely on the other person during conversations instead of on yourself.

    It gets easier with practice.

    one person who lived it

  15. Accept that feeling uncomfortable is a natural part of learning new social behaviors.

    Doing something you are not used to will always feel unnatural.

    one person who lived it

  16. Dance or practice shaking therapy to open yourself to receiving.

    to open you to receiving

    one person who lived it

  17. Focus less on yourself to avoid interactions feeling forced or awkward.

    Being constantly focused on oneself and stuck in one's own thoughts can make social interactions seem forced or awkward.

    one person who lived it

  18. Change your personality slowly to avoid backfiring.

    Changing too quickly can backfire.

    one person who lived it

  19. Take up activities that activate your inner child, such as riding rollercoasters or watching comedy.

    One person reported laughing deeply after visiting a theme park.

    2 people, independently

  20. Develop hobbies and go places to generate material for conversations.

    Doing things gives you something to talk about.

    one person who lived it

  21. Start interactions with an appropriate emotional response before joking to avoid appearing uncaring.

    Joking immediately can be taken as not caring.

    one person who lived it

  22. Read 'Autobiography of a Yogi' by Paramahansa Yogananda.

    One person reported it helped them live more consciously and joyfully.

    one person who lived it

  23. Listen genuinely rather than speaking impulsively to appear more sophisticated.

    Genuine listening prevents blabbering and improves perception.

    one person who lived it

  24. If you struggle with feeling oppressed by adult expectations, try digging deep to release beliefs about how adults are supposed to behave to free your inner child.

    one person who lived it

  25. Shift your mindset from competitive to collaborative in social interactions.

    3 people, independently

  26. Say funny thoughts immediately when they occur, prioritizing timing over perfection.

    Timing is everything.

    one person who lived it

  27. One person reported that relentlessly consuming comedy content changed their life.

    one person who lived it

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