Self acceptance
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Own your weirdness and be confident in it to increase happiness.
You'll be happier.
2 people, independently
- Embrace your unique quirks to make life interesting and maintain happiness as your authentic self.1
- Develop confidence in your uniqueness and project it positively.2
Try solo travel as a way to build confidence.
One person found that traveling alone helped build up their confidence.
4 people, independently
Accept your quirks without anxiety, understanding that everyone is unusual and normality is a myth.
Weirdness simply describes the unfamiliar, not a flaw; some people are merely skilled at concealing their eccentricities.
5 people, independently
Stop trying to force friendships with coworkers who reject you or lack common ground; seek out people who appreciate you or accept that you may not have friends at work.
Some people are simply not compatible with you.
one person who lived it
Show confidence in your uniqueness so people perceive your weirdness as quirky rather than off-putting.
People can tell when you are confident that no one will change who you are.
2 people, independently
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Accept that while some will judge or hate you for being yourself, others will love you.
Create yourself through action and practice rather than looking for a pre-existing true self.
One person realized they had to build who they were, and practicing this approach helped them know themselves.
one person who lived it
Laugh at yourself and acknowledge when you are being goofy to appear quirky rather than weird.
People may call you quirky because you acknowledge what you are doing or saying is goofy.
- Based on one person's perspective
one person who lived it
Accept that while some will judge or hate you for being yourself, others will love you.
5 people, independently
Recognize that no one is judging you as harshly as you judge yourself.
In actuality, external judgment is far less intense than internal self-judgment.
one person who lived it
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Find people who fit you rather than trying to fit into groups that do not accept you.
3 people, independently
- Take joy in not fitting in and reject guilt for failing to conform to societal molds.1
Expect and desire nothing from social outcomes, accepting that you do not control them, so you can learn from what happens.
You don't control the outcome
one person who lived it
If asked if you are weird, smile and ask what kind of weird, then act like a goofball.
- One person's experience
one person who lived it
Perform basic hygiene care to look and feel better.
It makes a huge difference in how you look and feel.
one person who lived it
Change your mindset from hoping they like you to hoping you like them.
2 people, independently
Take action now instead of waiting for college or next year, as the mindset of being a weirdo will not magically disappear later.
Waiting keeps you in a slump and does not solve the perception problem.
one person who lived it
Stop striving to act in specific ways; realize that being yourself is effortless while pretending to be someone else requires constant consciousness.
Your 'weird' is someone else's normal.
one person who lived it
Develop a thicker skin against labels like 'freak' or 'weird'.
One person reported getting a thicker skin after being called a freak throughout their life.
one person who lived it
Travel to a place where no one knows you to build confidence and loosen inhibitions without fear of judgment.
Being in an environment where you are certain you won't be judged can help you get loose and build a desired persona.
one person who lived it
Stop lying to yourself and others so your true self can emerge naturally without worry.
It makes it easy because you no longer have to worry about revealing your true self.
one person who lived it
Realize that people make mistakes and that it is okay; be humble.
one person who lived it
Recognize that most people do not dwell on minor awkward behaviors in others.
Such behaviors are usually just a footnote in their opinion of you.
one person who lived it
Reframe 'weird' as 'different' and view it as good or neutral rather than negative.
Swapping the word 'weird' for 'different' reveals endless examples, allowing you to frame it positively.
one person who lived it
Avoid doing things out of character solely for attention.
It decreases self-respect and leads to shallow connections where people stop talking to you once the novelty wears off.
one person who lived it
Constantly ask yourself if your actions and opinions are truly yours or if you are doing them to impress others.
One person used this self-questioning to distinguish between what they wanted and what they did for approval.
one person who lived it
Decide that your minor quirks are cute if you cannot change them, allowing for open joking with coworkers.
If you cannot change your traits, deciding they are cute helps you accept them.
one person who lived it
Seek out people who resonate with your genuine energy rather than changing your personality to match those around you.
Changing your personality leads to misery, while being genuine attracts compatible people.
- Finding such people involves a significant element of luck.
one person who lived it
Listen to and try to understand people with different interests to find commonality.
You are not that different from them.
one person who lived it
Do not react defensively to teasing.
Lack of reaction prevents fueling more teasing.
one person who lived it
Stop caring what others think by recognizing that people often do not notice or care about moments you perceive as cringy.
We are overly critical of ourselves; usually, others either didn't notice or don't care about our perceived mistakes.
one person who lived it
Be comfortable with yourself so your authentic expressions naturally attract people who appreciate you.
It filters your behaviors to those who value who you are.
one person who lived it
Allow yourself to misinterpret people's words and move on quickly if the result feels cringey.
It leads to funny moments and rarely causes future problems.
one person who lived it
Accept that you are not broken or antisocial if you do not draw energy from people but from your own world.
one person who lived it
Ask yourself if you would befriend and enjoy spending time with yourself if you saw yourself in public.
one person who lived it
If you are not hurting anyone, do not change your personality for others; only change if you want to for yourself.
2 people, independently
Stop worrying excessively about whether others think your words are stupid or if you are making a good impression.
Confident people do not concern themselves with this, allowing them to remain calm and composed.
one person who lived it
Walk away immediately if someone does not get the hint that you want to end a conversation.
It prevents rage when your attempts to end the interaction are ignored.
one person who lived it
Focus on building confidence over improving humor, as confidence is more important for social acceptance.
Humor is just an add-on.
one person who lived it
Recognize that physical attractiveness can grant leeway for eccentric behavior.
One person reported being able to get away with being 'super weird' because they are 'cute'.
- Based on a single personal experience.
one person who lived it
Identify your true self as the version of you that requires the least effort to maintain.
one person who lived it
Embrace your authenticity as a strength rather than viewing it as a flaw.
one person who lived it
Do not beat yourself up for imperfection or awkward pauses.
Everyone experiences awkward pauses, and they do not define the whole interaction.
one person who lived it
If you are concerned about being perceived as creepy rather than charming, project confidence in your speech and demeanor.
Confidence is cited as the difference between appearing creepy and appearing charming; speaking with confidence may make an interaction 'fun' instead of creepy even if physical attraction is not present.
- Some sources suggest that physical attractiveness heavily influences whether one is seen as charming or a 'creepy weirdo', regardless of behavior.
one person who lived it
View your personality like a TV character: you do not need to censor yourself to be likable as long as your overall character remains net positive.
Individual actions and words add to the whole character without defining it entirely.
one person who lived it
Focus on how annoying it is to keep a fake persona over time to motivate yourself to risk alienating others rather than faking it.
Recognizing the annoyance of the charade makes risking alienation seem preferable.
one person who lived it
Understand that 'normal' is a broad range that most people fit into, making true abnormality rare.
one person who lived it
Understand that being labeled weird may trigger others' instinctive fear of the unknown or potential danger.
Unusual behavior triggers the 'monkey brain' to signal beware of potential danger.
one person who lived it
Focus on eliminating the part of yourself that feels cringe, rather than trying to eliminate the feeling of cringe itself.
2 people, independently
Approach confrontations with genuine curiosity rather than defensiveness.
It prevents others from thinking they got to you.
one person who lived it
Consult a therapist to address people-pleasing tendencies.
3 people, independently
Offer a broad, friendly grin upon seeing others to offset a stern resting expression.
3 people, independently
View 'normal' as an arbitrary box built to contain amorphous human nature, and see 'weird' people merely as outliers rather than deviations.
one person who lived it
View yourself as a 'wooden sword' with bonus stats gained from journeys, maximizing your current traits rather than complaining about lacking innate advantages.
one person who lived it
Instead of accepting a negative identity like 'asshole,' commit to constantly working on improving your social skills.
one person who lived it
Develop a professional persona for work settings to appear smart and competent.
one person who lived it
Focus on listening and allow thoughts to arise spontaneously, without stressing over needing a response.
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Force yourself into social situations through work or obligations to build confidence over time via constant exposure.
Seek out people who share your specific interests to avoid small talk.
Conversing with people who are not your 'tribe' can be frustrating if you hate small talk.
one person who lived it
Give quiet or socially awkward people a chance to show their true character before judging them.
Groupthink often prevents people from getting to know others who don't fit the norm.
one person who lived it
Say hi to people and ask how they are doing to normalize social interaction and reduce the feeling that it is weird.
One person reported the world seemed calmer when they could say hello without it feeling weird.
one person who lived it
Join a club or hobby outside your comfort zone and show positive interest to fit in.
Being in a familiar environment makes it easier to fit in.
one person who lived it
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Force yourself into social situations through work or obligations to build confidence over time via constant exposure.
Constant exposure to uncomfortable situations helps people become confident and relaxed over time.
- Based on one person's experience with retail work improving their confidence.
2 people, independently
If you are an introvert, try joining board game meetups to find people who are more understanding toward those who are not particularly social.
One person found that people at board game meetups were more understanding of non-social people.
- Be prepared for disappointment and do not give up.
one person who lived it
Stop forcing yourself to do activities solely to make friends if you hate them.
Forcing yourself leads to serious dissatisfaction and makes you feel worse.
one person who lived it
Show up and participate in social events even if it feels difficult, trusting that an invitation indicates acceptance.
People have invited you because they know you, which is a great start, and people aren't so bad out there.
one person who lived it
Avoid overthinking social interactions; let them happen and ask questions that pop into your head.
Overthinking can cause your mind to go crazy and prevent you from thinking of anything to say.
one person who lived it
Treat social interactions as experiments or learning experiences so that success is tied to the process rather than the outcome.
One person cares less about outcomes when viewing interactions this way.
one person who lived it
Spend time working on your own interests, like reading or working out, rather than focusing on social standing, to feel more confident and socially able.
One person found they were most confident and free when not concentrating on fulfilling social expectations.
one person who lived it
Temporarily view new acquaintances as beneath you to reduce intimidation and prevent insecurities from sabotaging your interaction.
It acts as a mask that allows you to be more like your real self by blocking insecurity.
- Do not let this attitude become permanent, or you risk becoming an arsehole.
one person who lived it
Commit to consistent practice and training to develop comfort around people as a skill.
Discomfort comes from lack of experience; developing it requires commitment and consistent training.
one person who lived it
Start conversations in groups by bringing up topics that interest you to gradually identify what works and what feels uncomfortable.
Starting small helps you slowly learn the boundaries of your comfort and capability in group settings.
one person who lived it
Practice unique behaviors in moderation and be considerate of others to avoid annoying them.
Excessive actions like flooding group chats with random pictures can irritate people.
one person who lived it
Recognize that children's blunt questions about social status often stem from genuine concern rather than malice.
Kids are extremely honest and may be genuinely curious or worried.
one person who lived it