Self awareness
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Recognize that if a friend consistently flakes while initiating plans, you may be their backup plan.
They know you will show up if their real plans fall through.
one person who lived it
Create a visual collection of things that represent your vibe to help you see yourself more clearly.
It helps remind you of things about yourself.
one person who lived it
Write about yourself to clarify your thoughts and have material ready when you cannot think of what to say.
Writing helps your thought processes.
one person who lived it
Intentionally pause in a crowded area to judge the current vibe and your own body language.
This is presented as a way to practice social skills.
one person who lived it
Recognize that feelings of others being 'fake' may stem from your own discomfort or projection.
Your brain might tell you others are fake because you are uncomfortable talking to them.
one person who lived it
If you feel people are put off by your genuineness, check if you are talking too much or forcing every thought into the conversation.
Talking excessively can signal that you are trying too hard, which pushes people away regardless of what you are saying.
one person who lived it
If you are physically attractive, introverted, and have a resting face, recognize that you may appear unapproachable to others.
Others may feel they need to match your 'attractive aura' to talk to you, or perceive you as shy or anxious.
one person who lived it
Record yourself speaking and listen to the playback to identify unfriendly tones or verbal tics like excessive 'ums'.
One person found this helped them communicate better and sound more friendly.
one person who lived it
Seek direct feedback from trusted family members if you suspect your sarcasm is perceived negatively.
One person reported that their sister telling them they were being an annoying asshole led to a positive change in behavior.
one person who lived it
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Be aware that looking pristine—perfect clothing, hair, and posture—can intimidate others and make them feel insecure.
It creates a sense of intimidation unless the other person is also very well put together.
one person who lived it
Practice observing your thoughts and body sensations using mindfulness techniques to determine what your feelings are telling you before trying to articulate them verbally.
Emotions often present as certain body sensations that take time to articulate.
one person who lived it
Acknowledge that texting often involves censoring yourself to project a specific image.
one person who lived it