Self defense
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Stop paying vendors who mistreat you.
They are not worth your money.
one person who lived it
Treat rude people as persons rather than just roles like bartenders to get farther in life.
Treating them as persons gets you farther in life.
one person who lived it
Move on from people who cannot give you basic respect.
Respect is earned and you deserve better.
one person who lived it
Avoid pointing your phone at erratic people.
It may look like recording and provoke them.
one person who lived it
Stare at the intruder with a neutral expression for 4 seconds to make them self-conscious.
It’s unnerving.
one person who lived it
Ignore mocking or harassment from larger groups of strangers to avoid physical injury.
Confronting multiple larger people risks brain damage.
one person who lived it
Loudly ask 'Do you MIND???' to people who invade your personal space.
It works for this.
one person who lived it
Stay close to groups of people or near exits when dealing with potentially dangerous strangers.
Like schooling fish, lone people are more likely to be attacked.
one person who lived it
Make eye contact with approaching people or drivers to ensure they yield to you.
One person reported that this assertive approach stopped them from being walked into and caused cars to let them pass in crosswalks.
one person who lived it
16 more on this
Build a supportive group of friends to collectively stand up to bullies.
A whole group putting negative people in their place weakens those negative people.
one person who lived it
Wear earphones or headphones to signal that you cannot hear street harassers when ignoring them.
They will see that you can't hear them.
one person who lived it
If a cause is important to you, research it independently rather than engaging with street solicitors.
You can handle the effort on your own accord for things that matter.
one person who lived it
Judge whether a conflict is worth the risk of severe harm or death before engaging; if not, ignore it.
The potential risks outweigh the payoff for most conflicts involving irrational aggressors.
one person who lived it
Respond directly and proportionally to minor physical annoyances by being vocal about what you are not okay with, without starting actual fights.
Biting back a little often ensures it never happens again.
- Do not go starting actual fights.
one person who lived it
Avoid confrontation with strangers in public to ensure safety.
Walking away from fights makes you smart, not a coward.
one person who lived it
De-escalate conflicts by returning to the root issue and refusing to engage with added provocations.
Opponents often add things to spike tensions up.
one person who lived it
Find another establishment if the staff treats you rudely or favors wealthy customers.
That bar does not deserve your patronage.
one person who lived it
Stay calm, physically still, and use humor or non-reactions to de-escalate unpredictable aggressors.
This is textbook bar survival mode that prevents ego from hijacking the moment and allows you to salvage your night.
one person who lived it
Call out rude behavior from minors loudly enough for nearby adults to hear.
Hopefully they will parent.
one person who lived it
Do not give money to aggressive beggars or grifters.
Providing change is likened to feeding animals.
one person who lived it
Open chats with strangers by mentioning something they care about or a shared interest.
3 people, independently
Alert authority figures like transit drivers about aggressive harassers to have them separated or removed.
Authorities can move parties to different areas (e.g., front vs. back) to reduce harassment.
one person who lived it
Recognize that physical adrenaline rushes during threatening encounters are a normal biological fight-or-flight response.
The body prepares for possible danger.
one person who lived it
Be vigilant about your surroundings and notice what is going on around you.
3 people, independently
Focus on the fact that the person you defended likely appreciated your support, as this is what truly matters in the situation.
one person who lived it