Confidence without a drink
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
End friendships with people who push you to drink against your will, as they do not respect your choices.
This has helped remove toxic friends and get better ones.
one person who lived it
Adopt the mindset that everyone is just a human being like you, with nothing more.
It prevents letting others think they are better than you.
one person who lived it
Gradually face your fears by stepping outside your comfort zone to build confidence.
Confronting fears gradually helps confidence grow; one person said it removed their social anxiety.
3 people, independently
Resist peer pressure to drink by focusing on personal goals like fitness that would be ruined by alcohol.
One person found that starting a fitness program helped them resist because they did not want to ruin their diet plan.
one person who lived it
Take up daily sports or physical activities like running or swimming.
Overcoming hard things makes you confident.
- Based on one person's recommendation
one person who lived it
Stop caring so much about what others think by recognizing that most people are just winging it and do not know what they are doing.
one person who lived it
Set goals focused on the attempt rather than the outcome, such as aiming to 'attempt a joke' instead of making people laugh.
It helps you become comfortable attempting jokes; having the joke fail exposes you to more discomfort, which is helpful in this context.
one person who lived it
Shift focus from controlling external situations to being comfortable with how you control yourself in an unsure environment.
Feeling in control is about managing your own reaction rather than controlling what happens.
one person who lived it
Analyze your behavior while drunk to identify positive traits, then consciously integrate those behaviors into your sober self.
Replicating the feelings and behaviors experienced under influence can help replicate that state sober.
3 people, independently
4 more on this
Say what you are actually thinking without critically filtering for significance or humor, and embrace small talk about mundane topics to help conversations flow.
Being less critical of yourself makes social interactions easier.
one person who lived it
Train your assertiveness in daily interactions, beginning with minor instances and slowly moving to more significant ones.
6 people, independently
Abandon unrealistic expectations based on fictional characters like James Bond, as their scripted behavior does not mimic real-life social dynamics.
A person behaving like James Bond in real life would struggle to make basic connections with others.
one person who lived it
Recognize that relationships built solely around drinking are superficial and will end when you stop drinking.
one person who lived it