Mindset
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Abandon the belief that you must always be a 'nice guy' and accept that sounding cold or rude is acceptable when setting boundaries.
You are not responsible for the feelings of someone who is not your friend.
one person who lived it
View early jobs as stepping stones rather than final destinations.
One person found that each of their first few jobs was progressively better, leading them from a grocery store job to their goal of becoming an art teacher after three changes.
one person who lived it
Stop worrying about how uncertain career steps will look on your resume.
Focusing on this prevents you from taking risks and leaving; companies that judge these decisions are not the right fit for you.
one person who lived it
Never shy away from learning something new out of curiosity.
Things learned out of curiosity have helped in the real world.
one person who lived it
Be opportunistic and detached from outcomes while engaging in social activities like guitar clubs or D&D groups.
There is nothing to lose and all to gain.
one person who lived it
Use highly successful or attractive coworkers as inspiration for self-improvement rather than objects of comparison.
Focusing on getting better bit by bit helps you reach your goals; comparing yourself to traits like height or bone structure offers no inspiration since those are unchangeable.
one person who lived it
Acknowledge systemic unfairness but focus on identifying just one specific opportunity to improve your situation.
You still need to meet basic needs like rent despite market conditions.
one person who lived it
View yourself as working for yourself and your family, with the company merely being your current employer.
one person who lived it
Do not feel less worthy because of past rejections or labels about your capabilities.
one person who lived it
3 more on this
If you possess unique institutional knowledge that will cause significant operational disruption upon your departure, recognize this reality as a source of freedom rather than guilt.
one person who lived it
Adopt a problem-solving mindset that believes every coding challenge has a solution findable through persistence.
one person who lived it
Avoid making superficial changes that merely placate you into a false sense of happiness; seek genuine fulfillment instead.
one person who lived it