Professional development

None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.

How this was put together

If you only read a few

  1. Offer to provide a draft or template for the recommender to tweak and sign.

    It is much easier for them.

    • Sending a draft can be seen as disrespectful to a professional manager.
    • Some find it uncomfortable to sign a letter written by the candidate.

    3 people, independently

  2. Ask for help immediately if you cannot solve a problem yourself rather than waiting weeks.

    Waiting to ask for help can turn a solvable issue into a worse disaster.

    • Bringing the same problem repeatedly without contributing to its solution makes you an obstructionist.

    one person who lived it

  3. Attend TA office hours for help if you are failing a class.

    The TA is trying to help you.

    one person who lived it

  4. Give recommenders at least two weeks' notice before the deadline because they are busy.

    they are busy people

    one person who lived it

    • Allow at least two weeks for a recommender to write the letter.3
    • Ask for recommendation letters at least one month in advance.1
  5. Connect with professionals in your field of interest via LinkedIn to find mentors and support networks that reaffirm your goals.

    You may receive solid feedback from those who respond.

    • Not everybody will respond.

    one person who lived it

letters, write, work, recommendation37

Present a potential remedy with any problem to demonstrate you aim to resolve it, not merely vent.

  1. If your supervisor dwells on brainstorming rather than being productive, present two or three solutions and ask which one they want.

    This allows the supervisor to feel like they are managing while allowing you to spend more time working.

    one person who lived it

  2. If you are willing to commit fully for a sustained period, give your maximum effort daily to improve your skills.

    One person reported that their soft and other skills improved drastically over two years of doing this.

    one person who lived it

  3. Work hard and fast during paid hours, then leave at the end of your shift; do not stay late hoping for promotion.

    Bosses may take advantage of unpaid time without providing equally valuable rewards, and compensation is often based on what the company can afford rather than extra hours worked.

    one person who lived it

  4. Own up to mistakes immediately, even minor ones, so they can be fixed quickly.

    It allows for immediate fixes and maintains trust.

    one person who lived it

33 more on this
  1. Store touching notes from students or clients in a box to review after a bad day.

    Looking at them helps you remember that you helped someone.

    one person who lived it

  2. Ask what you can improve rather than what you did wrong.

    It reduces negativity and makes you sound more intelligent.

    one person who lived it

  3. Ensure you performed well in the professor's class before asking them to write a letter.

    Professors will not write letters for students they cannot praise glowingly.

    one person who lived it

  4. Focus on positives and right next steps during difficult conversations to end on a good foot.

    One person reported this helped them end a tough conversation on a good foot.

    one person who lived it

  5. Give potential recommenders a comfortable way to decline your request.

    If they say yes only to avoid awkwardness, the result is not helpful for you.

    one person who lived it

  6. Report when a peer does something right instead of bragging about your own successes.

    Calling out peers' success improves the odds they will return the favor, leading to a better work atmosphere.

    one person who lived it

  7. Adopt the motto that it is okay not to deliver, but not okay to hide that there is a problem.

    one person who lived it

  8. Bear in mind that new employees or those under stress may become overwhelmed or unable to research.

    Lack of knowledge or stress can make researching overwhelming or cause one's mind to go blank.

    one person who lived it

  9. Present a potential remedy with any problem to demonstrate you aim to resolve it, not merely vent.

    This initiates progress, displays situational awareness, aids assessment, and may result in acknowledgment or advancement.

    • Exceptions include time-critical situations or when you know the recipient already has a solution.
    • Bringing a problem without a solution does not necessarily make you a childish whiner if you personally couldn't find a fix.

    3 people, independently

  10. Understand that graduate schools require reference letters but cannot verify every applicant due to volume.

    They will not call references for every one of thousands of applicants.

    one person who lived it

  11. Save positive work feedback to use as evidence in promotion hearings or job interviews.

    It provides actual data to support your claims when asked for examples of criticism and praise.

    one person who lived it

  12. Document your ideas via email instead of relying on random discussions to create proof of origin and avoid losing credit in disputes.

    Email offers proof that you gave the idea, whereas discussion creates a 'you vs them' dynamic where you will lose.

    one person who lived it

  13. Identify a specific problem and make yourself the solution rather than just asking for more work.

    It shows initiative.

    one person who lived it

  14. Consider asking professors for letters soon after graduating rather than waiting many years.

    Professors may retire or become unreachable over time.

    one person who lived it

  15. Keep a cool head, state only provable facts within your responsibility, and stay quiet on matters outside your scope to remain covered.

    Eventually someone will look for heads to roll; staying covered prevents making enemies.

    one person who lived it

  16. Be casual and upfront when emailing professional referrals instead of trying to craft the perfect message.

    Recipients dislike emails that sound like they took days and nights to write.

    one person who lived it

  17. Do not suggest a solution unless you are prepared to carry it out yourself.

    Offering a solution is often interpreted as volunteering to do the work.

    one person who lived it

  18. Admit ignorance only once per issue; investigate thoroughly after the first instance to avoid appearing reactive and unaware.

    Having to find out what happened after being asked shows you are not aware of ongoing events, which is a reactive quality.

    one person who lived it

  19. Be direct about seeking employment opportunities when contacting a referral; do not sugarcoat the purpose.

    The contact knows exactly why you are reaching out.

    one person who lived it

  20. Document workplace complaints with timestamps or proof of wrongdoing to prevent the situation from worsening.

    Without a timestamped record or proof, you can easily make a bad situation much worse; complaints are rarely anonymous and must not be open to interpretation.

    one person who lived it

  21. Do not assume a recommendation letter matters for most positions; it likely won't hurt but may not be valued.

    Employers may view them as easily fabricated or irrelevant.

    one person who lived it

  22. Gather evidence of inefficiency causing problems and consult people impacted by the proposed changes before presenting them.

    Having more evidence makes the proposal better.

    one person who lived it

  23. Persist across organizational boundaries to secure proper attention from subject owners, even if it requires multiple attempts.

    Following through in this way is considered leadership.

    one person who lived it

  24. Address nitpicking by asking for input on solutions or researching the problem to formulate your own suggestions.

    Discussing possible solutions initiates creation rather than mere criticism.

    one person who lived it

  25. Alert supervisors about technical problems beforehand so you can state during reviews that you have notified them and are working on a resolution.

    It provides responses rather than excuses when confronted about shortcomings.

    one person who lived it

  26. Recognize that weak recommendation letters often communicate negatively through omission.

    A letter stating only basic truths (like attending class) without listing achievements signals poor performance compared to others.

    one person who lived it

  27. Consider that recommendation letters might be useless if recommenders write only blandly positive content to avoid legal issues.

    It becomes impossible to distinguish outstanding candidates from those who just have cautious recommenders.

    one person who lived it

  28. Accept offers to write recommendation letters immediately rather than delaying.

    Delaying may cause your positive attributes to fade from the recommender's memory.

    one person who lived it

  29. Prepare for the possibility that layoff decisions are determined by top-down salary cut targets assigned to department heads.

    Executive leadership may dictate specific salary reduction amounts that determine who is let go.

    one person who lived it

  30. Preface sending a draft letter with a polite explanation acknowledging the recommender's busy schedule.

    Otherwise it seems narcissistic.

    one person who lived it

  31. Accept that layoff decisions may be random or driven by nepotism and conformity expectations rather than performance alone.

    one person who lived it

  32. Expect that large multinationals may retrench employees regardless of personal circumstances such as having young children.

    one person who lived it

  33. View past experiences as complementary to your education rather than defining mistakes.

    one person who lived it

job, issues, problems10

  1. Report problems like software bugs or hardware failures even if you lack the expertise to solve them.

    Ignoring issues or staying silent out of fear is not good practice.

    one person who lived it

  2. Avoid becoming indispensable by solving unique problems no one else can handle, because you cannot move up if you cannot be replaced.

    Being hard to replace prevents advancement.

    one person who lived it

  3. Provide answers on how to fix broken things rather than just talking about what is broken.

    Bosses know stuff is broken; employees who just talk about problems provide no value.

    one person who lived it

  4. Frame completed projects by highlighting the challenges you addressed to demonstrate value, rather than simply stating you are done.

    Saying only 'I'm done' leads bosses to think anyone can do the job; showing you overcame challenges proves your worth.

    one person who lived it

6 more on this
  1. Consider switching to a solitary career with minimal public contact if social interaction causes stress.

    One person found that a quiet, desk-based job made a world of difference.

    one person who lived it

  2. Avoid making yourself indispensable to prevent being passed over for promotion.

    Companies may not promote you due to issues with backfilling your role.

    one person who lived it

  3. Contact the appropriate department to fix maintenance issues like flickering lights rather than fixing them yourself.

    Maintaining fixtures is their job, not yours.

    one person who lived it

  4. Focus on securing billable roles over overhead positions to reduce layoff risk during acquisitions.

    Billable employees are generally safer from layoffs, while overhead staff face higher risk of being removed.

    one person who lived it

  5. Recognize the urgency of problems: report critical issues immediately, but devise solutions for non-urgent ones.

    Managers judge ability to recognize immediate attention needs; for critical issues like a flooding ship, information is needed now, not problem-solving skills.

    one person who lived it

  6. Practice stress management techniques.

    This builds resilience and job satisfaction.

    one person who lived it

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