Relationships
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Do not wait too long to have children if you want them, as fertility may decline to the point where it is no longer possible.
You might reach a point where you literally cannot have kids.
one person who lived it
Inform close work friends personally if you are about to quit.
It hurts when close colleagues leave without notice; keeping in touch afterward may not be the same.
one person who lived it
Use a fan to block out distracting office noises instead of music.
A fan will block more noise.
one person who lived it
Assume kindness from service workers is part of their job persona rather than a sign of romantic interest.
Servers are required to be nice as part of their job.
one person who lived it
Be good at your work and build strong relationships with other colleagues so they will take your side if an undermining coworker tries to vent frustration at you.
Colleagues taking your side makes you a harder target for venting.
one person who lived it
To test if coworkers are trustworthy, tell different people different white lies about your personal life and see if the information leaks.
If someone repeats a lie you told only to another person, you know they share private information.
one person who lived it
Avoid sharing sexually explicit interests or content with coworkers you barely know.
It is bizarre and may lead to HR involvement.
one person who lived it
Thank the undermining colleague for their help when similar situations arise to defuse tension.
It helps defuse the situation.
one person who lived it
Study sitcoms to help recognize which faces correspond to which emotions if you struggle with social interactions.
Some neurodivergent people use this method to understand social interactions.
one person who lived it
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Reframe frustration at others' ineptitude as a reflection of your own strengths rather than their weaknesses.
It reduces frustration by recognizing that perceived helplessness often highlights your own competence.
one person who lived it
Accept that some coworkers do not want to engage in conversation and learn to be comfortable with silence.
Not everyone feels comfortable engaging in conversation; expecting otherwise can be perceived as selfish.
2 people, independently
Ignore or 'ice out' a coworker who makes repetitive, annoying comments by giving them a flat affect and withholding emotional engagement.
It avoids wasting emotions on someone who isn't worth them.
one person who lived it
Observe coworkers talking to others to pick up hints about their interests, then use those details to strike up conversations later.
one person who lived it
Develop outgoingness actively as a skill set rather than accepting it as an innate personality trait.
one person who lived it
When dealing with flaky coworkers who do not commit to plans, continue to banter and invite them, but never count on them showing up; treat any attendance as a bonus.
one person who lived it