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A buyer never needs you to send money

Selling online? The money comes to you, never from you. A buyer who asks you to refund extra, pay a fee or read out a code is a scammer.

Drawn from people's experiences of scams on selling sites and in the messages that come with them, read for the seller's side and checked against the US Federal Trade Commission's scam warnings. The shopping-from-ads half of those conversations belongs to a different reader.

You put something up for sale, and within the hour a message arrives. The buyer is friendly, will pay the full price, and has a small complication: a cheque for a bit more than you asked, so could you send the extra to their movers? Or a courier fee, just this once. Or a code that will come to your phone, to prove you are a real person. It sounds reasonable. That is the point.

When you are selling, the money only ever comes to you: if a buyer asks you to send money, pay any fee, or read out a code, stop, because it is a scam.

Some people put it as one rule: in a real sale, the seller receives money, and is never asked to send any, whether it is for shipping paid by personal transfer, a “verification”, or movers. The stories change and the direction does not, which is what makes the rule useful. You do not have to work out whether the buyer’s story is true. You only have to notice which way the money, or the code, is being asked to go.

The versions you may meet

The overpayment. A buyer sends a cheque, or a payment, for more than the price and asks you to send back the difference, or pay their movers with it. The payment is fake, and you lose the item and the money you sent. One person describes it, and the US Federal Trade Commission warns about the same thing: never accept a cheque for more than the selling price. The first question below explains why the money showing in your account proves nothing.

The code. A buyer wants to “verify you are real” and sends a code to your phone to read back. The Commission says that code lets them set up a number or an account in your name. The second question below goes through it.

The fee to release a payment. One person lists fake “holds” on a payment-app business account among the forms these scams take, and the Commission describes fake payment notices and made-up refund requests sent through payment apps. A payment that needs you to pay first is not a payment.

The third party. One person warns that scammers pose as movers or as a bank to redirect money, and some people name a request to be paid in gift cards as a sign of a scam.

There are a few honest exceptions, and the third question below goes through them: change from a cash sale is the everyday one. None of them looks like a stranger asking you to pay before you are paid.

Keep the sale where it started

Some people say that moving the conversation or the payment off the selling site, to text, email or a payment link, takes away whatever protection the site offers, and that it is a common scammer’s move. So keep the messages and the payment on the site. If you ship the item, one person’s rule is to send it only to the address in the payment record, never to a different address the buyer gives you afterwards.

A few small signs can tell you to be careful before anything is asked. These come from individual people, so treat them as signs rather than proof: a message within an hour of listing; an offer of the full asking price straight away; a buyer who insists on one payment method when you offer others; a request for free delivery to somewhere far away; a buyer with no history on the site. The Commission’s rule comes from the payer’s side of the same test: anyone who says you can only pay them by bank transfer, wire, cryptocurrency, payment app or gift card is probably a scammer, and in a sale you should not be paying at all.

If you are selling locally, one person lists three words for the listing that cut the problems down: price firm, pickup only, cash only. The Commission also suggests selling locally for cash where you can. Two warnings apply to that too: do not have buyers come to your home, and do not hand over personal details such as your address or your family’s, because one person says some “buyers” want the address rather than the item. There is a page on this site about choosing where to meet.

If you ship it, keep the proof

The other trouble sellers describe comes after the item has gone: a buyer who says the box arrived empty. Some people say the answer is the weight. Keep the shipping receipt with the weight on it, because a box recorded at the counter at the weight of your item is hard to call empty. Tracking online may not show the weight, one person adds, so you may need to ask the carrier for it, and some people point out its limit: weight proves something was in the box, not that it was the right thing. One person films the packing and takes a photo at drop-off; another insures the parcel and asks for a signature on delivery, though one person warns that postal insurance usually stops at delivery and does not cover a buyer who lies. Some people add that a police report gives a dispute more weight, and one person warns a report may be needed for an insurance claim even when the police can do little.

The argument below is about how far those sites will back you once a dispute starts.

If it has already happened

Act today. The Federal Trade Commission’s advice is to contact the company you used to send the money straight away, whether that is your bank, the payment app, the gift card company or a wire service, tell them it was fraud, and ask them to stop or reverse it. Then report it: in the US at ReportFraud.ftc.gov; in England, Wales and Northern Ireland to Report Fraud, the service that replaced Action Fraud in December 2025, online or on 0300 123 2040; in Scotland to Police Scotland on 101; elsewhere, to your own police or consumer-protection agency. One correction is worth knowing before you ask: deposit insurance protects your money if a bank fails, not if you were tricked into sending it, so recovery depends on how fast you move. What legal steps are left after that is not covered here.

And this is not a sign you are foolish. One person said it plainly to someone who had just been scammed: it was not their fault, and they deserved to be heard, not judged. Two more pushed back on anyone who called the loss small. Some people enjoy keeping a scammer busy with nonsense; for a seller, stopping the conversation, blocking and reporting is enough.

If you are the one buying, this is the wrong page: a buyer’s risks are a different subject, and there is a page on this site about card fraud protection, including what a card can do when a purchase goes wrong. If you are looking for work and the “employer” wants you to buy the kit or pay a fee first, the same direction test applies, and there is a page for that too.

The community disagrees on this one

Whether the big selling and payment sites will stand behind an honest seller is something people argue about.

Expect the site to side with the buyer

This camp describes new sellers losing disputes where the buyer said the box arrived empty, having money held back, and spending hours on hold, even with evidence. Their answer is to sell valuable things locally for cash instead, or to stop selling on those sites at all.

Follow the site's process and it holds

This camp says holding back a new seller's money is an ordinary safety step that protects both sides, and that sellers who follow the site's procedures and build a record over time rarely run into trouble.

The decider people give is your own experience and track record on the site. This page's own view: a newer seller with no history has more reason to follow the first camp's habits, and either way, the proof in the section above costs little and helps in any dispute.

Common questions

The money is showing in my account. Isn't it safe to send back the extra?

No, and this is the part that catches careful people. In the United States, the Federal Trade Commission explains that banks have to make deposited money available quickly, but it can take weeks for a bank to discover that a cheque was fake. When it does, the money comes back out of your account, and you are the one who owes it. So the balance you can see is not proof the payment is real. One person gives the same mechanism: the money shows as available before the cheque has actually cleared. Money orders and cashier's cheques do not fix it. One person thinks they are safer than a personal cheque because a bank issues them, while granting they can be faked; the Commission says fake ones exist too, and some people agree that even these can be forged. Its advice is short: never accept a cheque for more than the selling price. The same goes for a payment-app 'overpayment' and a message that says a payment is 'on hold' until you send something: check the app or your bank yourself, never through a link or a message the buyer sends.

They only want to check I'm a real person. What's the harm in a code?

The harm is that the code is a key to something of yours. The Federal Trade Commission describes the version sellers meet: a 'buyer' says they have heard about fake listings and want to check you are real, a verification code arrives on your phone by text, and they ask you to read it back. With that code they can set up a phone number or an account in your name, which can then be used to cheat other people while pointing back to you. One person here describes the same move asking for card details instead, to 'verify' you, and it empties accounts. A real buyer has no need for either. The Commission's rule: do not share any verification code with someone you do not know.

Aren't there times a seller does hand money back?

A few, and they are easy to tell apart. One person names the everyday one: change from a cash sale, handed over in person, though one person adds that a buyer can use a fake note to get real change. In some places, another adds, a seller gives the buyer a little 'luck money' back by custom; the answer given to them is that small exceptions like these do not touch the pattern this page is about, which is being asked to send money first, or send it somewhere else. And when a house is sold, one person points out, the fees come out of the sale money, not from the seller's own pocket to the buyer. None of them looks like a stranger asking you to pay movers, a courier, a fee to release a payment, or the difference on a cheque.

Questions this step helps with

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What people worked out

Shorter, plainer notes on the same ground — each with the number of people behind it.

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Drawn from the real, shared experience of thousands of people. Shared experience, not professional advice.

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