How do I become a calmer, safer driver?

You arrive at work already furious, and the reason is a grey hatchback that drove slowly, or an exit you missed, or a sun you drove into, or a car behind that leaned on the horn. Ten pages in this library are about the small decisions that make up a drive, and the shape they share is a rule set once before the car moves, and doing less at the moment you most want to do more.

Signal, then brake, so the car behind knows why. Signal before you brake is built from what many people shared, and many people say it in the same order. The reason is not the turn; it is the car behind, because a brake light says only that you are slowing, and a signal put on first tells them why, so they ease off instead of swerving or sitting on the horn. Some people say to signal on an empty road too, because that is how the habit gets built for the day you need it. Some people draw the distinction that fixes most signalling: an indicator is not a description of what your hands are doing, it is a statement of where you intend to go, sent early enough for other people to act on it, and one person puts it as intention, not permission. The cautions in the safety line are the other half: a signal warns and does not buy the space, and if someone will not let you in you yield rather than force the move. The page checked two countries’ rules and names only those two: the British Highway Code says signals must be given in plenty of time, having checked it is not misleading to signal at that moment, and cancelled after use; California and New York law require the signal to be shown continuously for the last hundred feet before the turn. Where you drive is yours to look up. And if the indicator has started clicking fast, many people say that is a lamp out on that side; walk round the car with the hazards on.

If you miss the exit, take the next one. Let the missed exit stay missed says the missed exit is a finished mistake, already behind you, and its entire price is a short detour one person cheerfully rebranded as accidental sightseeing. The dive across three lanes is a new mistake, made at speed, in front of strangers who have no reason to expect it. Its cousins are all worse: stopping dead in a live lane, reversing along a shoulder, the three-lane diagonal with a turn signal as apology. The fix on that page is a decision made in advance, because nobody reasons well at 65 miles an hour with a ramp disappearing in the mirror: said once, calmly, in a parked car, “if I miss it, I take the next one.” The navigation works for you, not the reverse, and it will reroute the moment the exit is truly gone.

Give the slow driver a birthday cake to carry. Give the slow driver a cake to carry comes from what many people shared, and many people do the same thing to the crawling car ahead: decide there is something fragile on the passenger seat, a cake with no lid, a goldfish in a bowl, a grandmother, and that is why. Some people use the rude version on the fast and swerving driver, that they need a toilet, badly, and some people say the joke is what makes it stick. Many people say who the trick is for, and it is not the driver, who will never know; it is you, who arrive calmer and forgive your own bad days more easily. Some people add the rule that keeps it honest: once, for a first offence, and a pattern uses the story up. The page’s cautions stand above the trick and they say one thing: the story is for your head, not for the road. A dangerous driver, tailgating, weaving, far too slow in a fast lane, still gets your brake and your distance, because some people warn that an explanation is not an excuse; do not drive at all if you are too angry, too tired or impaired; and the page’s cautions are for the reader who has been hurt before: if you have a history of abuse, or live or work where malice is common, do not let “assume the best” stop you setting a boundary against someone you already know to be harmful. Whether assuming the best makes you kinder or makes you a mark is the argument that page cannot settle, and it carries both camps.

If they are driving, hold your reply. If they’re driving, hold your reply is one person’s observation about the other end of the text. When someone sends “I’m driving right now”, the polite, loving, completely automatic reflex is to send something back, “ok”, “drive safe”, and the phone on the passenger seat lights up again, and the person you care about glances down at highway speed to see what you said. You cannot control the glance. You can simply not trigger it, for free, every time. If the silence feels cold, the page’s fix is one sentence said once: when you’re driving, I go quiet; talk when you’re parked.

Slow down when the sun is in your eyes, and stop if you have to. Make the sun a tie-breaker draws on what many people shared, and its safety line comes first: the United Kingdom’s Highway Code, rule 237, says if you are dazzled by bright sunlight, slow down and if necessary, stop, and driving guidance in the United States gives the same steps, slow down, leave more room to the car ahead, headlights on so others see you, and keep the windscreen clean inside and out, because dirt and streaks turn a low sun into a wall of light. Sunglasses help, many people say, and others say they are not enough when the sun sits on the horizon. The trick the page is named for is real: many people say that living east of work puts the rising sun behind you on the way in and the setting sun behind you on the way home. It is also, many people say, a small thing next to what a home costs, how safe the street is and how long the drive takes, so the page carries it as a tie-breaker between two otherwise equal homes and never as a rule. Some people say it does nothing for anyone on a night or early shift, and some say living east moves the glare rather than removing it, onto the number plates and bumpers of the cars ahead.

If you start to nod at the wheel, stop in a safe place and rest until you are no longer drowsy. Stop somewhere safe and rest when you start to nod says nothing replaces sleep. The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says resting is the only safe thing to do, and that turning up the radio, opening the window and turning up the air conditioner have not been found to work. Its warning signs are frequent yawning or blinking, trouble remembering the last few miles, missing exits, drifting from your lane and hitting a rumble strip. In the UK, the Highway Code says that if you feel sleepy you should stop in a safe place, and not in an emergency area or on the hard shoulder of a motorway. One person warns why you cannot count on noticing in time: micro-naps are involuntary, and the driver cannot consciously stop them. If you rest in the car with the engine running for heat, never do it in a garage or other closed space, and keep the exhaust clear: carbon monoxide can build up, and the library’s page on digging out the tailpipe before you run the heater has the details.

Some people say a short nap is the answer, and some suggest about 15 minutes; one person says arriving late is better than crashing. Coffee is where people split. A UK fire and rescue service calls two cups of strong coffee or a high-caffeine drink followed by a nap an emergency measure, and says that if you are still tired after it you should stop driving. The CDC says the only safe thing is to rest, and does not mention caffeine. Before you set off, the Highway Code recommends a break of at least 15 minutes after every two hours of driving and says to avoid long journeys between midnight and 6 am, when natural alertness is at its lowest, and the CDC says adults aged 18 to 60 need 7 or more hours of sleep a night. If sleepiness at the wheel keeps happening, see a doctor: the CDC says to talk to a health care provider if you regularly have problems sleeping, and in the UK the government says that if a sleep condition with excessive sleepiness is confirmed you must not drive until it is under control. That page is not for someone who drives at night or on long shifts as a job, where the CDC names a higher risk and the rules on hours are not covered, or for someone on a medicine that makes them drowsy, which a pharmacist or doctor can name. For a driver about to nod off right now and unable to stop at once, it has no better answer than the first line: find a safe place to stop as soon as possible.

Know where you are before you need to say it. The exit number is the mile marker says that on most United States interstates the exit number is the mile marker, so the difference between two exit numbers is the distance in miles, and the small green markers run the whole length of the road. The reason it is worth knowing is the safety line: if you break down or come across a crash, give the emergency operator the road, the direction you were travelling, and the nearest mile marker, which puts you inside a mile on a road where every stretch looks the same, and it works when you have no idea what town you are near. The page names its limits: none of it transfers outside the United States, and New York and the New England states have historically numbered exits in order, so if the numbers are running consecutively where you are, the arithmetic does not apply.

The maintenance schedule is the owner’s manual, not the sticker. The manual outranks the sticker says the windshield sticker is a sales schedule and the manual is the engineering one, and that a modern car given that boring list on time routinely runs past 200,000 miles. The 3,000-mile oil change is a standard from older engines and older oils, kept alive because frequent visits are a business model; the manual states the real interval for yours, with the manual’s own fine print for severe use, and the page’s honest exceptions: short trips, and the calendar, because a low-mileage car still wants fresh oil roughly annually. The money that page protects mostly is not oil money: the transmission that died at 90,000 because “lifetime fluid” was read as chemistry instead of marketing, the engine destroyed in one instant by a timing belt with a replacement mileage nobody looked up, the rocker panels dissolved by five winters of un-rinsed road salt, the rotor ruined by a brake pad that squeaked for two months first. Track your fuel economy per tank, the page says, because a sudden drop is often a mechanical problem introducing itself politely, while it is still cheap.

When you wait in your lane to turn across oncoming traffic, keep your front wheels pointing straight ahead until you actually start the turn. Keep your wheels pointing straight while you wait to turn across traffic is for the moment you are stopped with your signal (indicator in the UK) on, waiting for a gap: in the US that is a left turn, in the UK a right turn. It feels natural to steer toward the turn so the car is ready to go, and the driver manuals of New York and California say not to. New York’s says: “Keep your wheels straight until you actually begin to make your turn.” California’s Driver Handbook says: “Keep your wheels pointed straight ahead until it is safe to start your turn.” The reason in both is the same: if your wheels are turned and another vehicle hits you from behind, you could be pushed into the oncoming lane. The page cannot tell you that the habit prevents a crash or an injury, only what the manuals say it is for. Many people say the same thing. In the UK, the Highway Code, in rules 179 and 180, says to take up a position just left of the middle of the road, or in the space marked for traffic turning right, and to wait until there is a safe gap between you and any oncoming vehicle; the page found no UK government page that says anything about the direction of your wheels while you wait, so for the UK the advice rests on the reason the US manuals give and on what people say, and a driving instructor can say what they teach. Some people point out the habit is too broad if it is stated for every turn: it fits a turn that crosses oncoming traffic, not one that goes with the traffic, and the page gives no rule for other turns. If you have just been hit from behind and anyone is hurt, trapped or in danger, call 911 in the US or 999 in the UK before anything else, and say where you are; this site has a guide called “I was just in a car accident” with the steps, who to call and the signs of injury that can start later.

The same page adds a second habit: leave room when you stop behind a car. Many people say to leave enough room between you and the car in front, often judged by being able to see where its rear tires meet the road, so you can steer around an obstacle or get out of a dangerous situation, and some say it is an old rule, taught in driver education long ago, so that you are not squeezed between the car ahead and a car that hits you from behind. The Oregon driver manual says: “When stopping behind another vehicle, make sure you can see where the rear tires of the vehicle in front meet the road,” and lists being stopped on a hill as a time when you need even more space, because the vehicle ahead may roll back. In the UK, Highway Code rule 151 is for slow-moving traffic: it says to reduce the distance to the vehicle ahead to maintain traffic flow, never to get so close that you cannot stop safely, and to leave enough space to manoeuvre if the vehicle in front breaks down or an emergency vehicle needs to get past. People disagree about how much room is enough: some say a full car length, others that this is too much in city traffic because it invites cars to cut in and that seeing the rear tires is enough. On whether turning the wheel while stopped damages the car, people disagree too, and the page did not check a car maker’s manual; your owner’s manual is the place to check. This is not a rule for parking or for turns that go with the traffic, and anyone learning to drive follows their instructor.

Do not race after the ambulance: give yourself a few minutes to steady your breathing and pack what the person will need, then drive to the hospital at a normal speed, or ask someone else to drive you. Let the ambulance go, then drive to the hospital at a normal speed is for after the ambulance has been called and is on its way, and its safety box comes first. If the person is still with you and has signs of a stroke or a heart attack, call 911 in the US or 999 in the UK first, and do not drive them yourself. The CDC says about a stroke: “Do not drive to the hospital or let someone else drive you. Call 9-1-1 for an ambulance so that medical personnel can begin life-saving treatment on the way to the emergency room.” The NHS says “Do not drive yourself to A&E” on both its heart attack page and its stroke page. The CDC’s stroke test, B.E. F.A.S.T., is Balance loss, Eye (vision) changes, Face drooping on one side, Arm drifting downward, Speech slurred or strange, and Time to call 9-1-1 right away; it also lists sudden trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance or lack of coordination, sudden trouble seeing, sudden numbness or weakness in the face, arm or leg, especially on one side, sudden confusion, trouble speaking or difficulty understanding speech, and a sudden severe headache with no known cause, and says to note the time when any symptoms first appear. The NHS says to call 999 if you think you are having, or have had, a stroke, or if you have had signs of a stroke within the last 24 hours even if they have stopped. For a heart attack, the NHS says to call 999 if chest pain feels tight or like squeezing, chest pain spreads to the arms, neck or jaw, there is severe difficulty breathing (gasping, choking or not able to get words out), lips or skin are pale, blue or grey (on brown or black skin this may be easier to see on the palms of the hands), or someone has passed out and is not responding normally; it says to call NHS 111 if you are suddenly more short of breath than usual, have chest pain and feel sick or are being sick, or have chest pain and feel like your heart is racing, going too slowly, skipping a beat or fluttering. The CDC lists chest pain or discomfort; feeling weak, light-headed or faint, perhaps with a cold sweat; pain or discomfort in the jaw, neck or back; pain or discomfort in one or both arms or shoulders; and shortness of breath as heart attack symptoms, adds that unusual or unexplained tiredness, nausea or vomiting could also be symptoms and that women are more likely to have these other symptoms, and says to call 9-1-1 immediately if you notice heart attack symptoms in yourself or someone else. If you are not sure, the American College of Emergency Physicians says: “When in doubt, call 911.” Elsewhere, call your local emergency number.

Some people say a frightened driver is dangerous on the road, to themselves and to others: they describe tunnel vision, running red lights and stop signs, and driving into the back of the ambulance when it brakes hard, and some who followed an ambulance say they could not keep to the speed limit. NISTAR, a Northern Ireland service that moves very ill patients between hospitals, tells families: “you must not try and follow the ambulance.” It says: “If you try and follow the ambulance you may cause or be involved in a serious accident.” The page found no other official guideline on following an ambulance and did not check what the law says where you live. The person is not alone while you get ready: one person says the crew can give monitoring and treatment on the way that a private car cannot. Ask the crew before they go which hospital they are taking the person to, and what they want you to do; American Heart Association News quotes an emergency doctor who says a crew may take a stroke patient past the nearest hospital to one that can give the right treatment. One person says that if the crew tell you to follow, you do, and even then you drive at a normal speed.

Then take the few minutes: sit down, breathe slowly, and pack the person’s medicines or a list of them on paper, their past conditions and their regular doctor’s details (a GP in the UK), a phone charger with a long cable, clean clothes, and something to do while you wait. If your hands are shaking, your mind is not on the road, or you have had alcohol or a medicine that makes you drowsy, ask someone else to drive you, or take a taxi. People disagree about how long to wait. Some people suggest about ten minutes, one says 10 to 20 minutes can help the staff steady the patient without distraction, and one, a doctor, says a few minutes is acceptable but hours are not, because a patient can get worse fast and the hospital may need a relative for the person’s history or to agree to treatment; if the crew have told you the person is very sick, ask them how soon you should come, and if another adult can drive you, that is a way to get there sooner without driving upset. One person says the advice has exceptions: a child, someone who does not speak English, and someone with a disability or complex medical needs may need a person to speak for them right away, so tell the crew before they leave and ask whether you or another adult can ride. Whether you can ride is the crew’s decision; South Western Ambulance Service in England says on its website that space is limited and an escort is usually one person, ordinarily a relative, carer or friend, and the page has not checked other services. This is not for the person who feels unwell, for whether to call an ambulance, or for the ambulance bill.

Who this is not for, and what these pages leave open. If you ride a bicycle or a motorcycle, the signal page says much of what people said there was not about you. If you have no choice of where to live, the sun page says it is mostly not for you, and what it carries for the driver who cannot move is thin and names its gaps. None of these pages tells you how to handle a driver who cuts you off after you signalled correctly, what the signalling law is where you drive, or how many crashes glare causes; each names those as gaps rather than guessing. The first follow-up below is this library’s page for the car behind you that will not back off.