Let the ambulance go, then drive to the hospital at a normal speed

The doors close and the siren starts. Everything in you says to get in the car and stay right behind it. This page is for the person left standing at the door.

Do not race after the ambulance: give yourself a few minutes to steady your breathing and pack what the person will need, then drive to the hospital at a normal speed, or ask someone else to drive you.

This page is for after the ambulance has already been called and is on its way. If the person is still with you and has signs of a stroke or a heart attack, the safety note above says what to do first. If the person in the ambulance is a child, or someone who cannot speak for themselves, read the section “When a few minutes is too long”.

Why people say not to race it

Some people say a frightened driver is dangerous on the road, to themselves and to other people. They describe tunnel vision, running red lights and stop signs, and driving into the back of the ambulance when it brakes hard. One person adds that the patient lies facing backwards and can see the car behind through the rear window. Some people who followed an ambulance themselves say they stopped thinking clearly and felt a raw fear when the siren came on, and could not keep to the speed limit.

One health service says so too. NISTAR, a Northern Ireland service that moves very ill patients between hospitals, tells families: “you must not try and follow the ambulance.” It says: “If you try and follow the ambulance you may cause or be involved in a serious accident.” One person says causing a crash on the way can keep an emergency crew from reaching someone else, and another says the flashing lights are upsetting and distracting for anyone close behind.

The person is not alone while you get ready. One person says the crew can give monitoring and treatment on the way that a private car cannot, such as drugs or a defibrillator.

What to do in the next few minutes

Ask the crew before they go. Ask which hospital they are taking the person to, and what they want you to do. American Heart Association News quotes an emergency doctor who says a crew may take a stroke patient past the nearest hospital to one that can give the right treatment, so do not assume it is the nearest. One person says crews judge the situation and how you are coping, and that if they tell you to follow, you do. Even then, drive at a normal speed and do not try to keep up with the ambulance.

Take the few minutes. Sit down. Breathe slowly. Some people suggest waiting about ten minutes and breathing deeply before you drive. One person suggests giving a very upset relative a job, such as gathering medicines or packing clothes, and a time to meet at the hospital. People disagree about how long to wait. The FAQ below has the details.

Pack for a long wait. Some people say to use these minutes to pack clean clothes and the basics. Useful things to bring: the person’s medicines or a list of them on paper, their past conditions and their regular doctor’s details (a GP in the UK), a phone charger with a long cable, clean clothes, and something to do while you wait. If it may be a stroke, the CDC says to note the time when any symptoms first appear, because this helps health care providers decide on the best treatment. Tell the crew or the staff. This site has a page called “Bring the long charger” about what helps in a hospital bed.

Drive at a normal speed, or let someone else drive. If your hands are shaking, your mind is not on the road, or you have had alcohol or a medicine that makes you drowsy, ask a friend or relative to drive you, or take a taxi. At the hospital, one person says to use the main entrance, not the ambulance bay, because relatives in the unloading area get in the crew’s way and risk being hit by an arriving ambulance.

At the hospital: say what you know, then step back

Some people say hospitals make mistakes, so family should speak up for the patient even when staff are meant to handle everything. One person says not to assume the hospital’s notes on the person are complete or correct. One person says a relative who demands answers, or acts as a second doctor, can get in the way, and that it is better to give what you know and then step back. Some people argue that speaking up works best from a calm person who has the medical history in hand. That is a reason for the few minutes.

When a few minutes is too long

One person says the stay-behind advice has exceptions: a child, someone who does not speak English, and someone with a disability or complex medical needs, who may need a person to speak for them right away. If that is the patient, tell the crew before they leave and ask what they advise, including whether you or another adult can ride and where to meet. A fire department paramedic in one Massachusetts town, quoted in 2022 on a local health system’s website, says crews there prefer a parent to ride with a child. Ask your own crew.

If the crew has told you the person is very sick, ask them how soon to come. If another adult can drive you, that is a way to get there sooner without driving upset. One person says they regret leaving the hospital and missing their mother’s death.

Who this page is not for

If you are the person who feels unwell, this page is not for you. The safety note above has the signs and the numbers.

If you are asking whether to call an ambulance, or worrying about the bill, this page does not weigh that. The American College of Emergency Physicians says: “When in doubt, call 911.” In the US, a page here called “Don’t pay the first bill” covers questioning a hospital bill after the fact.

If you want to know how to guide an ambulance to your home, a page here called “Light the number” covers it.

Arriving in one piece, with the medicine list in your hand, is something you can do for them now.

If the person is still with you and has any of the signs in the safety note, call 911 in the US or 999 in the UK now. Elsewhere, call your local emergency number.