Get safe, then get facts

Exchange details, not the story, and never say whose fault it was. That is the line the people here draw, from different reasons, and the argument about the exception is laid out with both sides at the bottom of the page. The reasons first. Across three separate conversations and two more: at the roadside you do not have the facts. You don't know whether their brake lights worked, whether they were on their phone, what a camera on the corner saw, or what the debris says about who was where; two accounts describe feeling certain it was their fault and learning later it wasn't. Fault in a civil sense is decided afterwards, by insurers looking at all of it — one adjuster in these conversations says flatly that a verbal admission at the scene 'means nothing' to that process, and a correction adds that the car that did the hitting is not automatically the car at fault; if they ran the light, they will usually be found at fault even though you struck them, under your state's fault rules. So a statement of blame made in shock buys nothing and can cost a great deal: in most US states your compensation is reduced by whatever share of fault lands on you, and in a good number of states it disappears entirely at half. Now the honest part, which these conversations refuse to skip. Several accounts say that when it is plainly yours — you hit a parked car, you were driving too close — saying so is simply the decent thing, and that a page telling people to go quiet about obvious negligence is teaching something ugly; one adds that the other driver may be uninsured and unable to fight a claim, and your silence could ruin them. The people on the other side answer that 'plainly yours' is exactly the judgement adrenaline gets wrong, and that being honest with your insurer is not the same as making declarations to a stranger. Both are true, and the fork below is theirs. What about 'sorry'? Four single accounts and a correction say the word by itself is sympathy, not confession, and one adjuster says it carries no legal weight; in British Columbia, one caution notes, a law says so outright. But the same accounts draw the line at describing what you did: 'I'm so sorry, are you all right?' is one thing, 'sorry, I didn't see the light' is another, and the second is the one that gets read back to you. One warning in these conversations puts it plainly: don't describe a specific negligent act — running a light, braking to make a point — because that can become evidence of more than fault. Say you're sorry it happened, ask if they're hurt, and let the rest wait.

Sometimes you must, sometimes they won't, and the people here have lived both. The rule first, checked for the United States: when anyone is hurt, US states generally require the crash to be reported — check yours, and when in doubt call it in; when nobody is hurt, most states set a property-damage threshold — commonly somewhere around a thousand or two thousand dollars, lower in some — above which a report is required, and a modern bumper alone can cross it, so when in doubt, report. Then the practice. Three separate conversations say to call regardless, even for a scrape, because a report is an independent record: it fixes who was there, what the cars looked like, and what everyone said, and it protects you when the other driver later remembers it differently, or claims damage that was already there, or, as one account describes, tries to use the unreported crash against you afterwards. Two conversations add the specific protection: the report checks the other driver's identity and insurance for you — one account warns that fake insurance cards exist and officers don't always check them, so at least photograph the card and their licence. Three other conversations say police aren't needed for a minor bump with no injury, no blocked traffic and cooperative drivers, and a long run of accounts and cautions say that in many cities they simply won't come to one — you'll be told to exchange details and file at a station, sometimes with hours on hold first. So the honest envelope is this: call when anyone is hurt, when the other driver is hostile, evasive, impaired, or won't give details, when the cars can't be moved, when you suspect anything at all, or when your state's threshold is in play. When they won't attend, do the report's job yourself — the third question — and file the report your state requires afterwards; several accounts had to. One correction to carry: a police report does not decide fault. Officers deal in traffic law — they'll ticket a violation, and that ticket becomes strong evidence — but civil fault is settled between insurers, and an officer's opinion doesn't bind them. Two cautions for balance: for a single-car scrape with nobody else involved, calling may earn you a ticket and nothing else; and in Canada's no-fault provinces, one account says, the report matters less than witness statements or dashcam footage, because each insurer handles its own customer.

Collect, in this order, only once you're safe. Photos before anything is moved, if it's safe to take them — three separate conversations and two more say the same list: the vehicle damage, the scene, skid marks and every licence plate, before anything moves; one caution warns that moving the cars first can destroy the evidence of who was where. Then details: the other driver's name, phone, plate, their insurer's name and their policy number — the last two are what your insurer needs to know who to call — and the same from you. Then witnesses: three conversations say to get names and numbers from anyone who stopped, and record what they saw on your phone while it's fresh, because they leave, and memory fades; one account looks for cameras on nearby buildings and asks the city for footage immediately, since it can take weeks to arrive. And notes, while your hands are still shaking: time, weather, what you were doing, what they said. Several accounts start their phone recording as they step out, since the other driver sometimes admits things before the police arrive and denies them after — check your state's recording rules, but US law generally lets you film a crash scene in a public place, though recording a conversation has state-by-state rules. Now what not to do, because this is where the money is lost. Don't sign anything the other driver or their representative hands you — two conversations and three separate cautions call this the trap, because those papers can be releases or admissions — and read anything a tow driver or even an officer hands you, since one account signed what looked like an inventory form and released the car to a tow company they hadn't chosen. Don't tell the other driver your coverage limits or deductible: six single accounts and two cautions say give the insurer's name and policy number, nothing more, because knowing your ceiling lets a claim be built up to it. Don't accept cash at the scene to skip the insurers; one caution says informal deals aren't binding and one account says those offers often underestimate the damage — a car that turns out totalled looks like a dent at the kerb. Don't call the other driver's insurer or give their adjuster a statement — talk to your own, and let them talk to theirs; and when a caller says they're from an insurance company, one account checks before saying a word. Do call your own insurer soon — policies typically ask to be told promptly, and one caution says a late call can cost you the claim — but not from the roadside in a panic; one adjuster in these conversations says a call ten minutes later is not a late call, and calm is worth waiting for. On rates, a correction made inside these conversations: in many US states an insurer may not raise your premium for a crash that wasn't your fault, though a no-claims discount can go. Three smaller things the people here carry. If a child seat was in the car, US guidance says the US safety regulator's guidance is to replace it after any moderate or severe crash, and to treat a crash as minor only if the car drove away, the door nearest the seat is undamaged, nobody was hurt, no airbag went off and the seat shows no damage — and some seat makers say replace it after any crash at all, so check the manual. Consider uninsured-motorist cover on your own policy, two accounts say, since a fair share of the drivers you'll meet have none. And before you ever drive, secure the loose things in the cabin; three cautions describe phones and bottles becoming projectiles in a collision that was otherwise a bump. A dashcam, front and rear, is the purchase four separate conversations and two more say helped settle disputes when memories faded or the other driver lied — though it doesn't guarantee a claim, and some European countries restrict or ban them, so check where you live. One last don't, a warning these conversations carry: don't wave another driver out into traffic, and don't go when waved; if it goes wrong, the wave decides nothing about who pays.