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Say the word while you sign it

Some people say a toddler with a few signs screams less. The rumour that signing delays speech, and the one condition: say the word too.

Built from parents with a screaming toddler and from adults who wanted a first foothold in a signed language.

The baby is screaming and cannot tell you why, and you have heard that a few signs might help and also heard, from somebody, that signing will hold their talking back. Or you have no baby and want a first foothold in a signed language and do not know where to start. People are the source here.

Teach a handful of signs for the things a child wants most, and say the word aloud every single time you sign it — that is the whole condition; and if you are an adult starting out, learn the finger alphabet of the sign language used where you live.

The handful, said aloud

Some people say a baby can sign before they can speak, and that a small set of signs — more, all done, milk, eat, help — gives a child a way to say the thing they want instead of screaming for it; one person says the difference showed once the signs came back, and one says it matters most once the child is mobile and wanting things across a room. Some people say the point is a few high-use words, not a vocabulary. Some people say the one thing the page is named for: say the word with the sign, every time, so the sign is a bridge to the spoken word; one person says the connection is built by repeating the sign in the moment the milk arrives, and one says to answer in words and encourage the spoken word once the child can try it. The second question below carries which signs, and whether they need to be the real ones.

The rumour about speech

People argue whether signing delays a hearing child’s speech, and some people say there is no evidence that it does, the people who say it did are individual people describing one child, and the people who say it did not include Deaf parents, children of Deaf parents, and parents whose signed children spoke on time or early. This page carries the no-delay side as people’s own and as consistent with what is known, without having checked it against a study, and the one condition everyone attaches is the title. Some people warn to keep talking as much as you would have, so the signs do not replace speech. One person warns a child may swap words for signs for a spell and come back; a child who stops speaking is a question for a clinician — this page’s own line — and the first question below carries the rest.

For the adult starting out

Some people say to start with the finger alphabet of the sign language used where you live: one person learned it in an evening, recalling it at speed takes practice, and with it you can spell any word you lack a sign for, which one person says is what let them talk with a Deaf person. Some people say a few signs change ordinary life — a silent thank-you, a reminder across a room — and some say to learn the handful for an emergency, help among them, for the day a person cannot make a sound. Then the warning people insist on: an alphabet and a handful of signs are not a language. One person warns signs without grammar do not make communication, and some people say to learn beyond the basics from Deaf teachers or certified interpreters, because some people warn that hearing enthusiasts online make errors a learner cannot see. The third question below carries the rest, including the point that deaf people are not one thing and some hear a little or speak.

Which sign language

Some people point out there is no one sign language: countries differ, regions within a country differ, and a continent does not share one; some people warn a parent outside the country whose books they bought should learn the local language’s signs instead. One person points out a consistent, deliberate gesture is signing whatever you call it — which is why the handful for a baby works in any house — and the argument about real signs against invented ones is in the second question.

If you live somewhere other than where your baby-sign book was written, use the signs of the language used where you are. If what you want is fluency, the alphabet is a door and not the room, and people say to walk through it with Deaf teachers. If your toddler already talks well, this page was for the months before that, and how to bring signs to an older child is not covered here. And if a child has stopped speaking, that is a clinician’s question — this page’s own line — and this page will not pretend otherwise.

Worth knowing before you try

This page carries the claim that signing with a hearing baby does not delay speech as people’s own — some people correcting the individual people who say it did — and as consistent with what is known, without checking it against a study for this page; the one condition everyone attaches is to say the word each time. If a child stops speaking, that is for a clinician. No app, video series, book or named programme is carried. Sign languages differ by country and region; learn the one used where you live, from Deaf teachers or certified interpreters when you go beyond the basics. An unrelated tip here about using a hand-shape as a private reminder in conversation, and the dog-training analogies some people made, are not here. What to do when a child refuses a sign, and how to bring signing to an older child, are not covered here.

Try this today

about 5 minutes

Pick one sign tonight — ‘more’, the fingertips of both hands tapping together, is the one some people start with — and use it at the next meal every single time the word comes up, saying ‘more’ aloud as you do it. Some people say a baby can sign before they can speak, and that a handful of signs for the things they want most — more, all done, milk, help — cuts the screaming that comes from wanting a thing and having no way to say it. Some people say the same one thing, and it is the whole of the page: say the word with the sign, every time, so that the sign is a bridge to speech and not a replacement for it; some people say that done this way there is no evidence it delays talking, and some parents say their children spoke on time or early. Expect a wait before the first sign comes back to you; one person says the connection is built by repetition in the moment the milk arrives, not by lessons.

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Common questions

Someone told me signing will delay my child’s speech. Will it?

People argue whether teaching a hearing baby to sign delays speech, and some people say there is no evidence that it does, the people who say it did are each describing one child, and people on the other side include Deaf parents, children of Deaf parents, and parents with direct experience, who say the signed children spoke on time, and some early, and communicated their needs fully before the first spoken word. This page carries the no-delay side as people’s own and as consistent with what is known, without checking it against a study for this page. The one condition everyone on the no-delay side attaches is the one in the title — say the word each time you sign it — and some people warn to keep talking to the child as much as you would have, so the signs do not replace speech. One person warns a child may drop words for signs for a spell and pick them up again; if a child stops speaking, that is a question for a clinician — this page’s own line, not a person’s. One person points out, on a neighbouring rumour, that the exaggerated sing-song tone adults use with babies is not the problem people say it is — full sentences in that tone help. And one person says, on bilingual children generally, that their words in each language may lag while their words across both match their peers, and it evens out.

Which signs, and do they have to be the ‘real’ ones?

People’s handful: more, all done, stop, milk, hungry, thirsty. A fuller list of first signs is not covered here. Some people say the point is the few high-use words, not a vocabulary, and one person says the signs become most useful once the child is mobile and wanting things across the room. In one discussion people argue whether to use the real signs from the sign language of your country or to invent your own gestures and whistles: those for real signs say they are standardised and work; those for invented say a gesture is easier and fun. One person sides with the middle — a consistent, deliberate gesture is signing, whatever it is called — and some people say nursery workers teach ‘more’ and ‘hungry’, which is an argument for the shared version. Some people say to say the word every time, and one person says to respond in words and encourage the spoken word once the child is old enough to try it, so the sign hands over rather than holds on. What to do when the child refuses the sign, and how to bring signs to an older child who already talks, are not covered here.

I don’t have a baby. Where does an adult start?

Some people say the same starting point: the finger alphabet of the sign language used where you live, which one person learned in an evening, though recalling it at speed takes practice. With it you can spell a word you do not have a sign for, and one person says it is what let them talk with a Deaf person at all; some people say a few signs change ordinary life — a silent thank-you, a reminder across a room — and one person says in sales and customer service the effort to connect is noticed. Some people add a few emergency signs — help, and the sign your country uses for calling the emergency services — for the day someone cannot make a sound. Then the warning people insist on: an alphabet and a handful of signs are not a language. One person warns isolated signs without grammar do not make communication; some people say online videos are enough to start, and some people say they are not enough to be fluent; and some people say to learn from Deaf teachers or certified interpreters, because some people warn that hearing enthusiasts online make errors a learner cannot see. One person says facial expression is grammar in a signed language, and a flat face makes signing ambiguous; one says learning with another person makes it far easier. One person points out, for the adult who has not met a Deaf person, that deaf people are not one thing — some hear a little, some use implants, some speak — and the language is theirs to lead in. Sign languages differ by country — some people point out a continent does not share one, and even regions differ — so the fourth section says which to learn.