How do I get home safely after a night out?

Three pages in this library are about the trip home. Check the plate before you open the door is the booked car pulling up to the kerb. Plan tomorrow’s drive before tonight’s first drink is your own car, tonight and tomorrow morning. One is about a stranger’s judgement and one about your own, and both say the decision belongs earlier than the moment it seems to arrive. Agree a code word that gets your teen picked up is the third: the message a teenager at a party sends so a parent comes to collect them.

If you are in a car right now and the driver will not let you out, or you feel in danger, call 911 in the US or 999 in the UK. That is the box at the top of Check the plate before you open the door; elsewhere, your local emergency number. One person on the page says to speak so the driver can hear: your name, where you are, and that you are being kept in the car against your will, so the call itself is a record.

Decide how you will get home tonight, and how you will get to work tomorrow, before your first drink. Plan tomorrow’s drive before tonight’s first drink says sleep does not clear alcohol from your blood any faster; only time does, and after a heavy night you can still be over the limit the next morning while feeling fine. The NHS puts the pace your liver works at about one unit an hour for an average adult, and a unit is smaller than a drink: 8 grams of alcohol, so a pint of lower-strength (3.6%) lager is two units, a pint of stronger (5.2%) lager is three, and a large glass of wine is three. A US standard drink holds about 14 grams, closer to two units than one, so counting an hour for each drink is already too fast by the NHS’s own average, and an average is not you. Coffee, a cold shower and a big breakfast do not speed it up; the US National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism says, “There are no quick cures—only time will help.” The level can still be rising as you fall asleep. UK police guidance says that, depending on how much you drank, you could still be over the limit the following morning “and even into afternoon”, with the same penalties as the night before. If you drank heavily last night and have any doubt this morning, do not drive: the page says nothing you can do at home, sleep, coffee, a shower, a breakfast or a cheap breath tester, can promise you the alcohol is gone.

Feeling fine does not settle it. The US alcohol institute says “the coordination needed for driving is compromised long before you show signs of intoxication”, and tolerance changes how drunk you feel, not how much alcohol is in your blood. The UK government says it is impossible to say exactly how many drinks keep you under the limit, because “it’s different for each person”, and the page gives no time to wait, because no honest source can give you one. A breath tester you own cannot give you permission either: the page’s reading is that a high reading is worth believing, and a low reading is not a green light.

So the move is earlier than the morning: take away the option to drive before you start drinking. Leave the car at home, hand the keys to someone, arrange the ride home before you are the person deciding, and if tonight is going to be a heavy one, arrange tomorrow’s lift too, or look up the first bus, or settle that the car stays where it is until you have had real time, not just sleep. The UK government’s road-safety campaign says, “if you’re driving, it’s better to have none.” A taxi or a ride costs a fraction of a drink-driving charge; the UK government’s list of penalties for driving over the limit runs to six months in prison, an unlimited fine and a ban of at least a year, and in the US the penalties are set state by state. Free or cheap ways home exist in some places, and the people who name them say they vary by region, so find out before you go out.

If you are stuck with the car tonight. Sleeping in the car is far safer for everyone else than driving, the page says, and it is not a safe harbour for you: some people warn it can still end in a drink-driving charge, because in many places the law is about being in control of the car, not about moving it. In the UK, being “in charge” of a vehicle while over the limit is its own offence, with up to three months in prison, a fine of up to £2,500 and a possible ban; in some US states, sitting in the driver’s seat with the keys within reach, or with the engine running for heat, can be enough for a charge, and some states require proof that you actually drove. Your body has risks of its own there. Do not walk home drunk in freezing weather, and do not fall asleep with the engine running: the page says alcohol makes you feel warmer while your body cools, and a running engine, above all with snow around the exhaust, can fill a car with carbon monoxide, a gas you cannot see or smell that can kill someone asleep or drunk before they feel anything. If you need heat, run it only while you are awake, about ten minutes in each hour, with the pipe clear and a window open a little. Get out of the driver’s seat, put the keys out of reach, and wrap up warm. Better than any of it is a sofa, a spare room, or a ride, arranged before the first drink.

For a friend, the same move works earlier than you think: take the keys, or agree who is driving, before the drinking starts. If they insist and drive off anyway, or you see a car weaving on the road, call 911 in the US or 999 in the UK with the registration, the car and the direction it went.

In a booked car: match the plate, the car and the driver’s photo to the app before you open the door. Check the plate before you open the door says some people give this step: check the licence plate, the colour and model of the car, and the driver’s photo against what the app shows you, rather than asking “Are you my driver?” and trusting the answer. The page adds one thing of its own, from the logic of that step: if you do speak, do not offer your own name first, because “Are you here for Sam?” can be answered yes by anyone, while “Who are you here for?” has to be answered with the name your driver has from the app. Checking may not work for everyone, one person warns, for example if your eyesight makes it hard; in that case, do what you can and what feels comfortable.

Then a few habits, one person each: sit in the back, behind the front passenger seat; never agree to a ride outside the app, because you lose its tracking, its insurance and its protections; and if you are too drunk to make decisions, or might fall asleep, do not ride alone. A good rating does not replace the checks at the door, the page says.

Your address is yours. Some people say to keep your home address from the driver, and to get dropped at the corner, a shop, a petrol station or a public place with cameras near your home rather than at your door. One person says a driver asking “Is this your home?” gets you to give away more than you meant to; others answer that it is usually a driver checking the stop, badly phrased. The page says you do not have to decide which: “This is fine, thanks” answers the question the driver needs answered. Some people go further and lie about who is waiting or where they live; the page names the costs, that using a neighbour’s address can put the neighbour at risk if they are out, and a false name or address could confuse emergency services if something goes wrong, and points to honest versions that do some of the same work: phone a friend and stay on the call, on speaker, or share the trip live with someone who has accepted it, so the driver can hear, truthfully, that someone knows where you are.

If a door will not open when you want out, say so and use the emergency line above. People argue about missing door-lock covers and child locks, and the page says what decides it is the car in front of you; the part that does not depend on the car is the call. After the ride, one person says to stay alert while you walk the last part home alone. If a driver lingers at your door or follows you: in the US, VictimConnect, in the Resource Bank and cited below, can talk you through your options; in the UK, the National Stalking Helpline, run by the Suzy Lamplugh Trust, is on 0808 802 0300, and the page says to check its opening hours on the trust’s website. In an emergency, 911 in the US or 999 in the UK.

For a parent whose teenager is at a party or sleepover, agree one ordinary-sounding message that means “come and get me”, and promise that when it arrives you will come, with no questions about why that night, only whether they are safe. Agree a code word that gets your teen picked up opens with its box. If your teen is in danger now, or someone is hurting them, call 911 in the US or 999 in the UK rather than waiting for a code; if your teen calls 999 from a UK mobile and cannot speak, they can stay on the line and press 55 when prompted. When you collect a teen who has been drinking, watch for signs of alcohol poisoning: confusion, being sick, pale or blue-tinged skin, slow or irregular breathing, or passing out. If you think it is alcohol poisoning, call 999 (911 in the US); the NHS says to stay with them, sit them up if they are awake or put them in the recovery position if they have passed out, and not to leave them alone, give them more alcohol, food or caffeine, or try to make them sick.

The gap it closes for the ride home: a teenager who starts to feel wrong about a party can lose standing by saying “I want to leave” out loud in front of friends, and telling a parent can feel like asking for trouble. Many people say the message has to sound completely ordinary, a line about food, a pet or a chore, so that anyone who sees or hears it learns nothing. Some people describe the code as the trigger for a parent to act as the strict authority: the parent calls and says they need the teen home, and the teen can blame the parent instead of making the choice themselves. One person says the parent can take the social hit and play the annoying one so the teen keeps face, and one person finds a parent walking in to announce something in front of the teen’s friends humiliating, where a phone call avoids that. Some people describe a code that is a question the teen can answer yes or no, so the teen need not say anything telling. One person says a text can be seen over a shoulder, and another that a spoken code needs no device and still works if a phone is taken; use whichever your teen can do without being noticed.

The promise is what makes it work. The code is only a phone call, and what the teen needs to believe is that using it is safe. Some people say what is needed is a parent who commits to coming immediately and without judgment, and who is willing to look like the strict one. One person says to take the code at face value and not question or argue with the teen’s decision to leave. One person warns that if the parent’s reaction is harsh, such as heavy restrictions, a teen may choose a dangerous situation over using the code, and the page makes it a rule for strict households: do not set one up where the penalty for using it is harsh enough that a teen would accept physical danger instead. If that is your household, fix that first; the page cannot give you a code that works without it. One person says the same promise can be a standing rule with no code at all: a ride home is always on offer, whatever the reason. One person says the offer should reach the teen’s friends as well, since they may need an escape route and be afraid to call their own parents. Some people argue that a rescue stops a teen learning to cope with peer pressure; one person answers that it is a backup, not a replacement, and that it still shows the parent cares, and one compares it to a life jacket, which protects before the teen can manage alone.

Keep it simple and keep it private. One person says complex codes are likely to be forgotten under stress, and that a parent should practise it with the teen until it is second nature. One parent describes a child who used the wrong phrase and had to make up a story on the spot, and one person describes the code failing because the parent said yes where it meant no. Some people warn that putting your real code in a public place gives it away to anyone who reads it, and one person says it should be known only to the trusted adult and the child, not to friends.

The same kind of word has two other uses, with limits. Some people say a shared word lets a child check that someone claiming to have been sent by a trusted adult really was. Know what it does not cover: one person warns that teaching a child to be careful only of strangers is dangerous, because those who harm children are often known to them, and the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says about 90% of child sexual abuse is committed by someone known and trusted by the child or the family. A pickup word covers the logistics of trusted-but-unfamiliar pickups; it is not protection from a person the child already knows. For adults and scams, the US Federal Bureau of Investigation’s advice, from December 2024, is to create a secret word or phrase with your family to verify identity, and to verify a caller by hanging up and calling a number you have looked up yourself. The Federal Trade Commission says a scammer can imitate a relative with AI from a short audio clip, so do not trust a call because it sounds like them: call the person who supposedly contacted you on a number you know is theirs. A code word does not replace the call-back. If the person who needs a signal is an adult in danger, the page says a code is not a safety plan. If you are in immediate danger, call 911 (US) or 999 (UK). The National Domestic Violence Hotline in the US is 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788; it notes that internet use can be monitored. In the UK the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is 0808 2000 247, free and open 24 hours. It advises using a safe device if you think someone is monitoring yours.

The code-word page is not for a household where the teen would face a harsh punishment for using it, and it does not cover a teen who cannot reach a phone or speak freely, or a parent who could not get there quickly. A code can fail: it can be overheard, forgotten, or not passed on. If the problem is a small child collected from school or a crowded day out, the page on photographing your child before you go in is the nearer fit. If a teen refuses any kind of code, how to respond is not covered; a standing offer to come, no questions, is the plainest form of the same promise.

Who this is not for. If you drive for a living, the ride page is written for the passenger. The drive page is for alcohol only: the limits and timings are not for a medicine, cannabis or another drug, and one person points out that some medicines and medical conditions can impair driving too; a pharmacist can tell you about yours. If you are looking for a way to pass a breath test, get a lower reading or beat a charge, it will not help; if you have been charged, a lawyer where you live is the person to ask. And if you drink most days, or find you cannot stop once you start, it says its planning assumes a choice the drink may be taking away from you. That help starts with a phone call: in the US, the SAMHSA National Helpline, 1-800-662-4357, free and confidential, day and night, which is in the Resource Bank and cited below; in the UK, Drinkline, 0300 123 1110, listed by the NHS; elsewhere, your own doctor.