How do I handle Christmas when money is tight?

Christmas is coming and the money is not. Five pages in this library touch it. Set the Christmas number before the shops do is the money and the list, and it is the one that carries a safety line, so it comes first. The gift bag that comes back every year, The comics you save all year become the wrapping kids read first and Sew once, wrap forever are three ways of wrapping without buying paper, and Decide your giving before the register asks is the screen at the till asking you to round up.

Decide now the most you can spend on Christmas without borrowing, and fit the gifts to that number, not the number to the gifts. If you give homemade food as a gift, tell the person what is in it. In the United States the Food and Drug Administration names nine major food allergens: milk, eggs, fish, crustacean shellfish, tree nuts, peanuts, wheat, soybeans and sesame. It says allergic reactions range from hives and lip swelling to life-threatening anaphylaxis, and that someone with symptoms should stop eating the food, consider emergency medication such as epinephrine, and get medical attention. If someone has trouble breathing or collapses after eating, call 911 in the US or 999 in the UK. In the UK the Food Standards Agency lists 14 regulated allergens: celery, cereals containing gluten, crustaceans, eggs, fish, lupin, milk, molluscs, mustard, peanuts, sesame, soybeans, sulphur dioxide and sulphites, and tree nuts. It says to get medical help straight away if you feel ill or have a reaction after eating.

Start with the number. Some people say a strict budget is essential, and that it has to be a number you are comfortable with, whatever size the family norm is. Some people suggest putting a small amount aside from each paycheck or each month, so there is a cash fund for the holidays and no card to pay off afterwards. The page’s first step is to write down what you could set aside from each paycheck between now and Christmas without using a card, add it up, and call that your Christmas number. Then list the people you give to and put one word beside each: a small amount, swap, make, or stop. If the total is zero, skip the setting aside and write only the words. If the number is small, or zero, the gifts have to change, not the bill: putting gifts on a card, or on a buy now, pay later plan, only moves the cost into January. In the United States the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau describes buy now, pay later as an instalment loan that lets you buy now with little or no payment up front and pay the balance in four or fewer payments, and says most of these loans charge late fees if you miss a payment.

Shrink the list before you shrink the gifts. One person limits gifts to immediate family and close friends and drops extended family, coworkers and acquaintances. Many people say adults can drop gift exchanges with each other altogether, and some describe having done it for years; some say limiting gifts to children only cuts the money stress, and that the adults in their group went along with it. Some suggest a household rule that adults do not swap gifts, sometimes covering birthdays and weddings too, with cash as the only alternative if anyone insists. If you want to keep a swap, some people suggest a Secret Santa or white-elephant exchange with a low price cap, so each adult buys one gift instead of one for everyone. One person’s no-buy version is that everyone brings something they already own or found second-hand, and another person’s idea is an ornament exchange. Some people suggest putting the money into something shared, like the meal, the drinks or a game, and some say a donation to a charity in someone’s name is a valid alternative to a gift, though it may upset relatives who expect something to unwrap; one person’s family was angry, calling it wasted money.

Making something is an option with a catch. Some people say baking, cards or simple handmade things cost little and feel personal. One person points out that baking is not cheap if you do not already own the ingredients, and some people note that handmade gifts take time. One person says handmade gifts get thrown away unless they are very well made or edible; one person says they would rather get nothing than cheap, obligatory items, and another that their children hated homemade gifts. One person notes that homemade bread leaves out anyone with coeliac disease, so if you give food, say what is in it, as the safety line above says. Some people suggest buying through the year, in sales and clearance instead of in December, which lowers the cost and the pressure of choosing; it is late for that this year, and one person says getting half off took a great deal of work and stress.

Is a small gift better than none? People disagree, and the page does not settle it. Some people say it is better to give nothing than clearance items the person will throw away. One person says nothing is fine when you are struggling, because friends and family will understand; another says even a cheap or homemade gift does more for the relationship. One person’s rule is simpler: give a gift only if you come across something you are sure the person will love, and do not force one because it is the season. Some people say friends and family will understand when you tell them your situation in advance, and that lowering expectations lowers the stress. The page gives no wording for that conversation. Some people warn that families can react with anger or guilt-tripping, and one person says relatives tried to get round a couple’s decision by drawing names. The warnings are real and so is the saving; you can weigh both.

If there are school-age children, some people say children starting school meet peer pressure about toys, and that a child who does not get traditional gifts can be distressed. Others suggest ways round it. Some people say children do not keep track of who gave them what, so a small number of presents is enough, even when grandparents add their own. Some suggest practical things as the main presents, such as pyjamas, socks and toothbrushes, plus one or two toys the child chose, and one person suggests asking the child directly, because children’s tastes are not what adults assume. Some people say shared experiences, a sledding day, a cooking afternoon, a treasure hunt, are remembered more fondly than objects and leave less clutter and stress, and one person argues that children prefer a calm parent to expensive presents. People disagree about how much missing out costs a child, and the page cannot settle it; it may depend on the child’s age and on what the children around them get. For the day itself, some people suggest free or low-cost things to do instead: baking together, sledding, puzzles, caroling, volunteering, library visits, films.

Wrap it for almost nothing. The comics page says what the wrapping is made of was never really the message; the ten extra minutes are. In one family a Pokémon gift bag is thought to be nearing its twentieth year of service and getting your present in it is considered an honor; the advice there is to keep the gift bags that enter your house and reuse them for every occasion, crossing out the last name on a bag and writing the new one. If a newspaper already comes to your house, one person saved a year of funnies for wrapping and the kids read the strips before opening anything; the page says the economics only work if the paper is already coming, because bought at newsstand price the funnies can cost more than a roll of gift wrap, and that newsprint ink rubs off. Another page buys holiday fabric on clearance after the holiday and sews drawstring bags that come back every year; it needs sewing access and costs real money up front, and it pays back only where the bags return, which is mostly inside a family. One person remembers their mother’s newsprint wrapping as making the family’s poverty visible, and the comics page says the difference seems to lie in intention made visible: the saved colour pages rather than yesterday’s news, a ribbon or twine bow, a name written big. How do I wrap presents without buying wrapping paper? is the answer here that carries all of the wrapping pages.

When the screen at the till asks you to round up, the page says to choose the cause you want to fund before anyone asks you. At the register, say yes if the charity on the screen is one you have chosen and checked, and “not today” if it is not; you owe nobody an explanation. One person says holiday campaigns lean on the ask. In the United States the store does not get a tax break on your round-up: the money passes through the store’s books as a liability, like sales tax, and the receipt is yours. The page carries more on how to check a charity, and the argument about overhead.

Who this is not for. If you already owe money from Christmas, the page does not cover paying it off. The free debt advice services listed below do: in the United States the National Foundation for Credit Counseling, and in the UK MoneyHelper and StepChange. If your family treats gifts as a measure of care, one person warns that where a history of poverty sits behind it, gifts that cost too little or are not personal enough can cause a row; a capped swap or a few small personal gifts may fit better than none, and the choice is yours. If giving is the part you love, one person says what it gives them lies in the hours of choosing and wrapping, not in the price. If there is no money at all, even a capped swap may be more than you can spend, and one person suggests a letter saying what the person means to you. The pages do not cover scripts for the family conversation, relatives who insist on expensive gifts, or a partner who wants to keep giving when you want to stop. The advice comes from people sharing what they do, and families differ: what one household accepted may be taken badly in another.

Whatever number you land on, you set it before the shops did, and that was the point.