My parents have told me to leave home — who do I call first?

One page in this library answers this, Make one free call the day you are told to leave home. It draws on what people in that spot told each other and on the free services that exist for it. It is for someone under about 25 who has been put out by, or cannot stay with, a parent or guardian, mostly in the United States. You may have a bag, or not even that. You may be fifteen or seventeen or nineteen, with no money, no credit and no lease.

If you are in danger right now, call 911 in the US or 999 in the UK. If you are thinking about ending your life, call or text 988 in the US or call Samaritans free on 116 123 in the UK. If someone offers you a place to stay in return for sex, for work you will not be paid for, or for anything that makes you uncomfortable, leave if you can, and call the National Human Trafficking Hotline on 1-888-373-7888, or text 233733, or the National Runaway Safeline on 1-800-786-2929. The hotline describes trafficking as controlling a person through force, fraud or coercion for commercial sex or labor. In the UK, call the Modern Slavery Helpline free on 08000 121 700, or 999 if you are in danger. That is the box at the top of the page.

If a parent has told you to leave home, call the National Runaway Safeline on 1-800-786-2929 or dial 211 today: both are free, and they can tell you what exists near you. The National Runaway Safeline says it is free and confidential, open 24 hours by phone, text, chat and email, and that its crisis specialists help you explore options and reach resources. Its Home Free program, for people aged 12 to 21, can help you get to a confirmed safe adult or safe place at no cost. 211 connects you to local services, including help with housing and homelessness, food programs and the cost of healthcare; it says it is free and confidential, and its hours depend on your local service. You do not need a plan to call. Say what happened and ask what exists for someone your age where you live. What exists depends on your age and your place, and they can look that up. Some people note that you need a phone or the internet to reach any of this, and one person says a public library can fill the gap if your phone is cut off.

If you are under 18, which of these fits depends on your state and on how dangerous the house is. Some people say to call child protective services or social services, because making a minor leave is often illegal and those agencies can arrange emergency housing. One person says a call or a visit from them may be enough to make a parent back down; another says it can buy time until you turn 18. Others are more cautious. One person points out that these agencies generally try not to remove a child unless they have to, and that a parent telling you to leave does not by itself bring the state in. Some people warn that state help can come with strict conditions, such as curfews, staying in school and regular meetings with a social worker, and one person warns it may mean cooperating fully with the authorities against your parent. One person suggests telling a school counselor or a trusted teacher, who are required to report and can step in; one person warns that a report brings official action, which may make things harder with your parents. One person says a social-services independent living program can give housing until 21, with rent, grocery cards and a social worker, on conditions such as staying in school, and some people point out that one program said to start at 18 took people from 16 in their county, so ask whether yours does. The page cannot tell you what holds where you live. Some of the people who said it is illegal to make a minor leave were describing California law, and rules differ by state; the Safeline and 211 can tell you what exists near you, and free legal aid can tell you what applies to your age and your state.

In England, the government’s statutory guidance covers 16 and 17 year olds. It covers the duties of children’s services and housing services to secure or provide accommodation for 16 and 17 year olds who are homeless or need somewhere to live. Ask your council’s children’s services for help. Shelter England is on 0808 800 4444, Monday to Friday 8am to 5pm, closed at weekends and bank holidays; it helps anyone who is homeless or about to lose their home, including people over 17, and it gives advice, not accommodation. Childline is free on 0800 1111, and its Resource Bank entry says it is open 24 hours a day for a child or young person. If you are in danger, call 999. The page does not cover Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland.

Stay or go is a judgement the house decides. Some people warn against staying in a hostile house waiting for a parent to change their mind, and say to line up somewhere to go first. One person says leaving at once puts you on the street and that legal help should come first. A counselor on the Safeline can talk it through with you.

For somewhere to sleep, people suggest a few things, each with a limit. Some people suggest couch-surfing: rotate between friends, a night or two each, so that no one host is worn out, and keep clean and mind your manners so the door stays open. Some people say a homeless shelter is the first stop, because a case worker there can help with work, housing and food benefits. One person names shelters set up for teenagers, up to age 22, as a different thing from an adult shelter, so ask whether there is a youth shelter near you. One person warns that shelters can be frightening and says to try friends or school resources first. If someone offers a place in exchange for something, the safety box above has what to do. One person suggests farm work for room and board; another warns that such postings often turn out to be unpaid labor.

Keep your documents. Some people list a birth certificate, Social Security card and photo ID as what services and employers ask for. One person says to check that they were in the belongings you left with, and to keep them with someone you trust. The page’s exercise for today is to write down where those are, and who could take you in for a night or two.

Money and work come after the first call. Many people say to get some paid work as fast as you can, part-time or odd jobs included. Some people point to staffing or temp agencies as quick pay for someone without a résumé. One person says many employers want a diploma or GED first, and that libraries or food banks may help cover the cost of the tests. One person suggests asking about food and health coverage through 211. One person says someone starting college can say on the federal student aid form that they are homeless, to be treated as independent of their parents; ask the school’s financial aid office whether that applies to you. Many people name Job Corps. The program’s own site says it is for people aged 16 through 24 with a low income, and that it is free, with housing, meals, basic medical care and a living allowance. Some people say being homeless can speed up an application, and one person says the placement may be out of state. One person’s account of it dates from 1997, so details may have changed, and one person says outcomes depend on taking advantage of what it offers; some people warn about waiting lists or relocation. Check that your nearest center is open and taking students before you plan around it: call or use the enrollment site, and ask about waiting lists. Some people describe the military as a way to get housing, pay and structure; one person warns that it is a long commitment and should not be entered under pressure to escape a bad situation. One person warns that alcohol and drugs dull the sharpness you need to get work and make a bad spot worse.

If you are 18 or over, a parent may still have to follow a process, and it varies. Some people say that even at 18 a parent cannot simply put you out, that they must follow a legal eviction process, and that tenant rules may cover someone living in a parent’s home. Some people say it varies by state and by your relationship to the person, and that those rules may not stretch to a dependent living with a parent. One person doubts that calling the police on a hostile parent will win you more time, and one says turning legal rules against a parent to get even tends to backfire. The page cannot tell you what applies where you live; free legal aid can, and the Legal Services Corporation’s finder, in the Resource Bank and listed below, helps you find it.

Some people who were put out at 17, 18 or 19 say they came through it and later found stability or help elsewhere. Some say it did real harm along the way. Both are true for the people who say them.

Who this is not for. If you are an adult with your name on a lease and a partner who has left, this is the wrong page. If you and a partner are planning to move out together while one of you is still a minor, the page does not cover that; people had very different views on it, and it is a question for a legal aid office or a counselor. If you are the parent, the page is written to the young person. What Job Corps and other programs offer, their age limits and whether a center is open can change, so confirm before you rely on one. The people who wrote about this are the ones who found their way through it, and people for whom nothing worked are less likely to be here. Nothing here is legal advice.