Ask whether the worry has a next step

It is a what-if, again. The rent, the email, the scan, the thing you said on Tuesday. You have already gone round it enough times to know the route, and you are going round it anyway.

Many people say the useful first move is a sorting one. It is not “stop worrying”: some people call that advice dismissive, and some say it ignores what anxiety does to the body. Others reply that its core, to stay in the present or accept what you cannot control, is sound even when it is put bluntly. This page asks a question instead.

When a worry loops, ask whether there is anything you can do about it today: if there is, write down one next step, and if there is not, write the worry on a list for a set time later and turn your attention to something else.

The NHS’s own worry exercise has the same shape. It asks whether there is anything practical you can do about the worry. If yes, work out what, how and when, and do it now or schedule it. If no, acknowledge it, accept that, and move your focus elsewhere. The NHS says it might feel difficult at first to stop your thoughts returning to a worry, and that it should get easier as you settle into the habit.

This page is for ordinary worry that loops. If you get panic attacks, have OCD or health anxiety, or your worry has hung around for months, read the sections near the end before you try any of it.

Is this one you can act on?

Many people say the first job is to separate what is in your control from what is not, and to spend your energy on the first. Some people add that the line is hard to draw, and some suggest it helps to think about your own actions rather than the outcome. You cannot control whether the result comes back clear. You can control whether you book the appointment.

Some people say a different move for the worry that has no job attached: stop trying to solve it and picture the most likely outcome, and if nothing needs solving, shift your attention elsewhere. Some people also say to anchor yourself in the present: the thing you fear has not happened yet, and may not.

If it has a next step, make it small and make it once

One person suggests replacing the open-ended worry with a single line, “if this happens, I will do that”, so that the loop has an end. One person suggests deciding the step while you are calm, so that when the worry arrives the decision is already made. For worries about a real risk, some people say that thinking through ordinary protective steps lowers how big the threat feels. A plan about money or housing is practical, not a mindset trick, and the page Some advice assumes the rent is already paid is for that reader.

Plans can turn into the problem. Some people say this method fails when the solution creates new things to worry about, and some say that coming up with solutions is itself part of the spiral for them. One person says it can eat hours until the situation feels unsolvable. A plan is worth making when it fits in a line. If making it starts a new loop, you have your answer for today: use the other route below.

One person goes the opposite way and suggests following the chain of worst cases all the way to its end, which they say shows the final outcome to be manageable or the steps unlikely. Another person warns that imagining the worst can raise stress rather than lower it, so this page does not offer it as a step. Whether to cut a thought short with a plan or follow it to the end can differ from one person to the next.

If it has no next step, give it a time or give it a task

Some people suggest setting aside a time for worrying, a kind of office hours, so the worry has a place to go and does not spread over the whole day.

The NHS Every Mind Matters page describes a short worry time, say 10 or 15 minutes, every day or so before bed. During the day, when a worry shows up, you tell yourself you will set it aside for your worry time. The NHS says this can put your mind at ease and stop thoughts racing when you are trying to sleep. Some people warn that a session too close to bed can interfere with sleep, so if it keeps you up, move it earlier.

Some people say writing the worries down, in a list or in a notebook first thing in the morning, gets them out of your head and lets you come back to them with a clearer mind. One person says their therapist set a stretch of 21 minutes for the urge to worry and compared it to the way an urge to smoke fades.

One person says that telling yourself the worry is pointless does not work. Their answer is the set time above, where you let the worry have its say, rather than an argument. Some people say anxiety is carried in the body, so a hard walk, exercise, or physical actions can finish off the stress reaction in a way thinking cannot. Some people say naming what you can see or hear, or slow breathing, interrupts the loop. One person suggests breathing in deeply and out slowly through the mouth. Breathing eases the moment without touching the cause. If you want a way in, there is a page here called Name the sounds in the room.

What the NHS and the US National Institute of Mental Health say about worry that is more than worry

The NHS describes the main symptom of generalised anxiety disorder as stress or worry that affects daily life and is difficult to control. Other symptoms it lists include trouble sleeping, restlessness, irritability, trouble concentrating, tiredness, tension, stomach problems, a more noticeable or unusual heartbeat, feeling lightheaded or dizzy and low mood. The US institute says the clinical version is persistent worry that interferes with life, and lists cognitive behavioural therapy and medicines among its treatments.

Some people say that when anxiety is crippling or linked to trauma, a GP or psychologist and a proper assessment should come before self-help, and that self-help tips alone are not enough. Some add that ADHD or depression may be part of the picture and is worth asking about. One person says a GP may brush off mental health symptoms and that a specialist clinic can be needed to get a proper answer. One person says medicine can be needed to steady you before other coping works; whether it is right for you is the prescriber’s call.

For help in the US, the NAMI HelpLine and low-cost therapy listings are below. In England, the NHS says that if you are 18 or over you can refer yourself to an NHS talking therapies service without seeing a GP.

The NHS also lists alcohol, smoking, gambling and drugs as things not to use to cope with anxiety. Some people say cannabis quiets their mind; some warn it can bring on panic or paranoia, especially if you are prone to panic attacks or have depression.

Who this page is not for

It is not for the person with a worry that is a real clock: a bill due, a symptom that needs a doctor, an unsafe place. Worry there is the alarm working, and the next step is to act. One person warns that worry has a job when a real danger is involved, such as a fire at home or a fault in the car, and that numbing it completely removes that alert. This page is not a way to quiet an alarm you ought to answer.

It is not for you if you get panic attacks. One person warns that deliberate worry time can set them off, and advises stopping if it does and seeing a clinician. For the if-this-then-that plan, one person says not to use it with OCD and another says it can set off terrible spirals in health anxiety. Those readers need a clinician more than a trick.

It is not a promise for the person whose trouble is that they cannot make plans: some people say this tip assumes a level of energy and focus that depression or severe anxiety takes away. And for fears that have no solution, such as death or events no one controls, some people say a plan has nothing to hold, and some say the same of chronic pain or climate worry. This page does not cover what to do about those beyond the physical and attention routes above; try Let thoughts be weather.